2021年考研英语二大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2021年考研英语二高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语二写作冲刺高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The chart vividly illustrates the exercise preferences of residents in a particular city. Based on the data, exercising alone is a most popular option, accounting for a significant majority of 54.3%. Meanwhile working out with friends as the second common choice. In contrast, exercising with families and teammates consistutes a small porportion of residents" preferences.

Several factors have been contributed to this phenomenon. First and foremost, faced with increasing intense social competition, most people lead busy lives. Against this background . it is unrealistic to participate in group fitness classes in the gym after work when overtime is frequent. Futhermore, a growing number of young adults now live far away their parents drastically reduces opportunies for family-based exercise.

As elucidated, this trend is likely to persist in the foreseeable future. Regardless of how one chooses to exercise, developing a good habit of taking exercises is crucial for everyone’s health and well-being.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：as

批改：is

原文：The chart vividly illustrates the exercise preferences of residents in a particular city. Based on the data, exercising alone is a most popular option, accounting for a significant majority of 54.3%. Meanwhile working out with friends as the second common choice. In contrast, exercising with families and teammates consistutes a small porportion of residents" preferences.

批改：用具体数据描述图表内容，清晰直观，但是建议在段落后面补充这些数据反映的社会现象

原文：been

批改：删除，不用被动语态

原文：lead

批改：live 用一般现在时

原文：far away

批改：far away from

原文： drastically reduces

批改：补充非限制性定语从句引导词，which drastically reduces

原文：Several factors have been contributed to this phenomenon. First and foremost, faced with increasing intense social competition, most people lead busy lives. Against this background . it is unrealistic to participate in group fitness classes in the gym after work when overtime is frequent. Futhermore, a growing number of young adults now live far away their parents drastically reduces opportunies for family-based exercise.

批改：以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因，逻辑严谨，层次分明。

原文：As elucidated, this trend is likely to persist in the foreseeable future. Regardless of how one chooses to exercise, developing a good habit of taking exercises is crucial for everyone’s health and well-being.

批改：总结全文，升华主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12 /15

这篇文章内容完整充实，结构清晰合理，逻辑严谨，层次分明，句型表达丰富。

首段总体概括图表主题，呈现各锻炼方式的占比数据，突出独自锻炼占比最高这一核心特征。第二段原因分析，可从现代生活节奏快、个人时间安排灵活、社交网络有限等角度展开。第三段可结合当前趋势，合理推测未来锻炼方式的发展方向，如独自锻炼可能持续流行，同时建议增加家庭和团体锻炼以促进社交与健康。

文章整体来说，言简意赅，符合了考试写作提纲的要求，文章表示语义衔接的词语运用不太多，在以后的写作中可以多尝试使用一些表示衔接的词语，这样文章段落内部句内和段落之间的关系就能很明朗的表现出来。同时注意避免单纯罗列数据，可适当引用社会现象或政策背景支持分析，增强说服力。

本文展示的2021年考研英语二范文可以提炼为考研英语二写作冲刺的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。