作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2010年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一写作技巧常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语一2010年大作文题目
考研英语一2010年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2010年大作文批改例文
The Hotpot of "culture"
As shown in the cartoon,there is a hotpot boiling with hot steam,which is cooking so much speacial food,such as "kung fu"、“Lao she”etc.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is culture that plays an important and positive role both in our eronal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,culture can nurture our souls,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment,thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather then being self-consuming.What is more,in modern society full of changes,chances,and challenges,culture has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinay people,and its significance has become increasingly evident.
In brief,culture is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively promote and carry forward diverce culture.Only by doing so can we make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The Hotpot of "culture"
批改:不用写标题
原文: culture
批改:此处的主题词只写文化,不够精确,要写为 cultural fusion 文化融合
原文: eronal
批改:personal
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图画内容, 但是表达的主题不够精确
批改:语法正确
原文:culture
批改:改为 cultural fusion
批改:语法正确,表达也不错
批改:语言表达不错,内容也比较具体
原文:culture
批改:改为 cultural fusion
原文:diverce
批改:diverse
原文:culture
批改:此处指的是多种文化,改为 cultures
批改:结尾段内容表达很好
原文:hotpot
批改:此处为两个词,改为 hot pot
原文:speacial
批改:special
原文:so much speacial food
批改:改为 a variety of cultural elements 更合适
原文:she
批改:此处首字母也要大写
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13分/20分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明了个人观点,但是主题词表达不够精确,火锅里有各种各样的文化,体现的是文化融合
语言表达:存在几处语法和拼写错误,词汇表达不错,一些句式也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体
修改建议:1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改 2. 拼写要细心 3. 主题词要表达精确。之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的语言表达,试着多用自己的话来写,主题词表达一定要精确,加油!
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