启航教育作为考研英语培训领域的知名品牌,每年都会整理发布当年的启航考研英语高分范文。本文呈现的2023年考研英语一大作文批改例文中,每一处失分点都已被老师精准订正,是2027考生不可错过的写作资料。
一、考研英语一2023年大作文题目
考研英语一2023年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay based on the picture below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2023年大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture, there is an old woman talking with her husband, admiring the dragon boat race in their village, A crowd of people standing along the river while watching and cheering the race. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is traditional custom that plays an important and positive role both in our personal life and in society.
This phenomenon is thought provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, although certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, but the meaning of it should never lost its luster, as it is an initial bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving. What’s more, a great traditional culture can nurture our souls, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making our lives rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.
In brief, positive traditional custom is the catalyst for societal and personal development from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively promote and carry forward positive traditional custom, only by doing so, can we create a more happier life and build a more harmonies society.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:there is an old woman talking with her husband, admiring the dragon boat race in their village, A
批改:there is an old woman talking-> an elderly woman is talking (更简洁、主动的句式) A crowd of people standing-> while a crowd of people stand (将句子片段与主句连接,并使用正确动词形式) traditional custom-> traditional customs (使用复数形式) personal life-> personal lives (保持复数一致性)
原文:own in the picture, there is an old woman talking with her husband, admiring the dragon boat race in their village, A crowd of people standing along the river while watching and cheering the race. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is traditional custom that plays an important and positive role both in our personal life and in society.
批改: 开篇非常出色!语言精准、生动、简洁。
原文:hought provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, although certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, but the meaning of it should never l
批改:thought provoking-> thought-provoking (复合形容词需加连字符) although... but-> 英语中although和but不能连用,可删去but:Although certain Chinese traditions..., the essence... should never lost-> should never lose (情态动词后接动词原形) initial bond-> essential bond (用词更精准) a great traditional culture-> outstanding traditional culture (表达更贴切)
原文:is phenomenon is thought provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, although certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, but the meaning of it should never lost its luster, as it is an initial bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving. What’s more, a great traditional culture can nurture our souls, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making our lives rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.
批改:本段的论证深度和思辨性尤为出色。你从“民族纽带”的宏大视角和“滋养心灵”的个人层面进行阐述,立意高远且逻辑自洽。更难得的是,你采用了辩证的视角(承认部分传统可能过时),这使论述更严谨、更有说服力。用词上,“luster”, “thriving”, “nurture our souls”, “self-fulfillment” 都非常精准且高级。
原文: a more happier li
批改:a more happier-> a happier (比较级重复,more多余) harmonies-> harmonious (词性错误,应用形容词)
原文:positive traditional custom is the catalyst for societal and personal development from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively promote and carry forward positive traditional custom, only by doing so, can we create a more happier life and build a more harmonies society.
批改: 结尾段总结有力,升华得当
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16
你的这篇作文有四大突出优点:
语言地道流畅:词汇选择精准且高级,句式丰富多变,衔接自然。
逻辑深度突出:论证不再流于表面,而是建立了具体、深刻、独特的因果链条,体现了很强的思辨能力。
结构严谨完美:从描述到分析再到总结,行文流畅,层次分明。
具有辩证思维:能够客观承认部分传统可能过时,从而更突出“优秀”传统的价值,这是非常成熟的论证技巧。
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