考研英语一2016年大作文真题与例文批改

2016年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语一作文真题常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture, there is a father requestinghis son to study when he is watching TV, On the contrary, in the right-hand pertrayal, the father efforts to study with his son. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is making ourselves to be a example that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-prooking in several ways, lnt two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, makeing ourselves to be a example can nuture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaingful. what is more, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges it has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.

In brief, making ourselves to be a example is the cantalyst for societal and personal dleve lop ment, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：pertrayal

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 portrayal

原文：,

批改：句号

原文： efforts

批改：词性辨析不清，effort 是名词，这里显然当作动词使用了， 改为makes an effort

原文：a

批改： example 以元音音素开头，改为 an ，检查下文同样错误，而且核心短语 making ourselves to be an example 表达不地道，有些繁琐。可以改为 being a good example / making ourselves an example/ setting a good example

原文：thought-prooking

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 thought-provoking。

原文：lnt

批改： but

原文：makeing

批改：改为 making。

原文：nuture

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 nurture

原文：meaingful.

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 meaningful。

原文：w

批改：大写

原文： cantalyst

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 catalyst

原文：dleve lop ment

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 development

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

从结构层面看，文章遵循了经典的“描述-分析-总结”结构。第一段描述漫画，第二段深入分析现象，第三段总结观点，全文逻辑流畅

从内容层面看，抓住漫画的深层含义，围绕“以身作则”的重要性展开论述。

从语言层面看，单词拼写这种基础错误太多，提出的核心短语表达不太地道

建议：检查标点符号、大小写、单词拼写基础错误，尤其在提出核心论点时注意表达的准确性， 多积累和模仿英语中常用的固定搭配，例如用“set a good example”来代替“make ourselves to be an example”，加油。

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