距离2027考研英语初试已不足一年,写作冲刺阶段高效的复习方式就是精研历年真题高分范文。本文精解的2011年考研英语二批改范例,紧扣考研英语二写作技巧写作锦囊要点,全文结构严谨、表达地道,适合所有2027考生。
一、考研英语二2011年大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、考研英语二2011年大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in market shares of certain brands in the domestic car market from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the percentage of domestic cars was 25%, but by 2009 this rate had substantialy risen 33%. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of American cars remained stable and steady.
The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes. In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those bon in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to using domestic cars and have become the primary consumer group. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of domestic cars (is a clear sign of social improvement and) will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars and American cars will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in market shares of certain brands in the domestic car market from 2008 to 2009.
批改:开篇直接点明图表类型及展示的核心内容,简洁明了
原文:In 2008, the percentage of domestic cars was 25%, but by 2009 this rate had substantialy risen 33%.
批改:“substantialy”拼写错误,应为“substantially”,“risen 33%”表述不准确,可改为“risen to 33%”。不过整体能清晰呈现国产车市场份额的变化情况。
原文:In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period.
批改:准确描述了同一时期日系车市场份额的显著下降情况,与前文形成对比。
原文:Simultaneously, the percentage of American cars remained stable and steady.
批改:整体说明了美系车市场份额的状态。
原文:The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:过渡句,自然引出下文对现象原因的分析。
原文:To start with, chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation.
批改:“chinese”首字母未大写,应为“Chinese”;此句提出社会转型这一背景
原文:In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes.
批改:指出中国制造业的进步是根本原因,有一定合理性
原文:In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those bon in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to using domestic cars and have become the primary consumer group.
批改:“bon”拼写错误,应为“born”;提到年轻一代成为主要消费群体且习惯使用国产车,有一定说服力
原文:Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:总结前文原因分析,得出图表现象合理的结论。
原文:What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of domestic cars (is a clear sign of social improvement and) will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:括号内容多余且与前后文逻辑不连贯,应删去,不要做多余的写作,比如括号之类的;提出对国产车市场份额未来上升的预测。
原文:In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars and American cars will likely continue to decrease.
批改:基于前文对国产车市场份额上升的预测,得出日系车和美系车市场份额可能继续下降的结论
原文:The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in market shares of certain brands in the domestic car market from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the percentage of domestic cars was 25%, but by 2009 this rate had substantialy risen 33%. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of American cars remained stable and steady
批改:准确解读图表内容,清晰呈现了2008 - 2009年国产车、日系车和美系车市场份额的变化情况,为后文分析原因和预测趋势奠定基础。但存在拼写和表述不准确的问题。
原文:he core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes. In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those bon in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to using domestic cars and have become the primary consumer group. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:尝试分析图表现象的原因,从社会转型、制造业进步和年轻一代消费习惯等方面进行阐述,有一定逻辑性。
原文:What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of domestic cars (is a clear sign of social improvement and) will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars and American cars will likely continue to decrease
批改:对未来汽车市场份额趋势进行预测
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:8/15
题目要求:文章紧扣题目要求,开篇准确解读了图表所展示的 2008 - 2009 年国内汽车市场中不同品牌市场份额的变化情况,完成了图表解读的任务。同时,后续段落对市场份额变化现象的原因进行了分析,并对未来趋势做出了预测,给出了相应评论,基本满足了题目中“interpret the chart and give your comments”的要求。
语言表达:整体语言表达较为流畅,能够清晰地传达作者的观点。使用了如“In contrast”“Simultaneously”“To start with”“In addition”等连接词,使文章的逻辑层次较为分明,但是有拼写错误。
内容层面:从社会转型、制造业进步和年轻一代消费习惯等多个角度对市场份额变化的原因进行了分析,具有一定的合理性和全面性。
修改建议:学习和借鉴优秀范文的写作思路、结构安排和语言表达方式,不断提升自己的写作水平。加油!
透过这篇2011年考研英语二批改范文,相信你对考研英语二写作技巧的写作框架有了更深入的认识。启航教育长期为考研英语考生提供一对一专业作文批改,从词汇、语法到结构系统诊断失分点,欢迎在线咨询预约免费批改名额。
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