考研英语一2016年大作文真题与例文批改

一篇高分的考研英语大作文，常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2016年考研英语一批改范例，每一段都体现了这三大要素，启航教育考研英语一作文范文教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon,there is a man,smoking and watching television,but asking his son to study hard.On the contrary,in the right-hand portrayal,a man and his son are learning attentively together.Evidently,the cartoon intends to convey to readers that becoming an example is the brush that paints a bright future,while barely demanding is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the quality that before asking others to do,show you will do first is one that should never lose its luster,as it is an essential bond that is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.On the other hand,only demanding rather than becoming an example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress，leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief,becoming a positive example is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and advocate this quality;additionally,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of barely asking others to act rather than taking action to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：rto

批改：cartoon也可以，用cartoonist也OK

原文：arely demandin

批改：表述不是很好哦，demanding是adj，这里做主语需要名词。直接写bad example就可以了，甚至后半句可以不写

原文：and cartoon,there is a man,smoking and watching television,but asking his son to study hard.On the contrary,in the right-hand portrayal,a man and his son are learning attentively together.Evidently,the cartoon intends to convey to readers that becoming an example is the brush that paints a bright future,while barely demanding is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：描述漫画还是比较到位全面的，句子结构完整，贴合题意和英文写作规则，主题找的也比较到位，注意一些小错误哦。

原文：efore asking others to do,show you will do first

批改：这个表述不好，show后面的半句语法错误，改为good example即可

原文： that is a crucial piece

批改：前面短语和后面短语留一个即可，删掉一个

原文：only demanding rather than

批改：没有这样表述的，直接写becoming a bad example

原文： is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.On the other hand,only demanding rather than becoming an example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress，leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society

批改：模板套的太生硬了，自己写的句子语法存在很多问题，表述不地道，其实考生没有找准写句子写的是什么，根据什么写，语法知识还需要加强学习。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/20

语法：语法句子写的要符合语法规则，有的成分多余，需要删掉，根据批注进行修改哦，语法知识还需要加强，词性注意使用，adj，名词等不同词性使用方法不一样。

逻辑：整体逻辑可以的，整体很通顺。

词汇：单词整体还行，但是有错的地方，注意修改。

内容：内容比较符合题意要求，结构合理。

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