考研英语一2013年大作文失分点批改

2013年考研英语一大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

The drawing vividly presents the phenomenon regarding to the choice of graduated students.A host of students are standing in front of a host of choice yet no one choose and go ahead .At the bottom of the drawing ,a sentence says:“the choice”.

Not until I saw the drawing did I realize the adversity about how to choose a rational choice,which can be analyzed around three aspects.primarily,As we have navigated into a new epoch filling with various choice facing everyone,a rational choice is no longer a luxury but a necessity.Furthermore,these individuals’ behavior can be attributed to a lack of ability regarding to making choice.The root cause ,however,lies in the university that emphasizes the socre while neglecting the cultivation of personal ability.Ultimately,an ability to independently make choice can furnish us with recognition resilience ,enabling us to navigate adversities and complexities.

Considering the above arguments,making a rational choice is overwhelmingly important for us ,which needs to take more practical actions .I ,as a students,should underscore the development of making choice.And universities are supposed to take a lot of lectures about how to choose a rational choice.Only by doing these practical actions can we have a brilliant future .

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：choice

批改：a host of表示“大量，许多”，后面应接可数名词的复数形式，改为 choices

原文： regarding to the choice

批改：regarding是介词，意为“关于”，后面直接接宾语，删除 to

原文：choose

批改：no one后应使用第三人称单数动词 chooses

原文：go ahead

批改：go ahead更侧重于“开始”或“继续”，这里用 move forward（前进）或 take a step（迈出一步）更地道，改为 moves forward / takes a step

原文：the adversity about how to

批改：the adversity about how to choose a choice 搭配不恰当，改为 the difficulty of making a rational choice

原文：filling with

批改：a new epoch和 fill with之间应该是被动语态，改为 filled with

原文：choice

批改：可数名词变复数 choices

原文： to

批改：regarding后面直接接宾语，后面不加 to

原文：choice

批改：变复数

原文： socre

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 score

原文：university that emphasizes

批改：这里泛指大学，应该用复数形式 universities。谓语动词应用 emphasize。

原文：recognition resilience

批改：两个并列名词之间缺少 and

原文： students

批改： a后面必须接单数可数名词 改为 student

原文： take a lot of lectures

批改：take a lot of lectures 是（学生）听课、上课，这里主语是学校，所以动词改为 hold / organize

原文：how to choose a rational choice

批改：典型的中式英语错误。英语的固定搭配是 how to make a rational choice

原文：around

批改：介词使用错误，改为 from

原文：p

批改：大写

原文： choice

批改：同上，变复数

原文：an

批改：这里特指“做出选择的能力”，应用定冠词 the，改为 the ability to independently make choices

原文：doing

批改：“采取行动”的固定搭配是 take action，这里改为 taking

原文： choice

批改：同上，变复数

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9 /20

从结构层面看，本文脉络清晰，三段式写作，开头清楚表明图片，中间进行分析，最后做出总结。

语言层面上，单词和语法错误较多，但是内容上原因分析非常深刻。

问题集中在名词单复数、动词搭配、介词使用、冠词使用，一些用词不够准确或地道。大量仿写范文，并特别注意文中的固定搭配和常用表达，通过模仿来提升语感。继续练习，您的写作会越来越流畅地道！

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