2011年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文整理了2011年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改例文，是备考考研英语作文真题范文的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值，历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点，下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。

一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The line chart clearly depicts The proportion of Chinese car market of certain car brand in 2008 and 2009. In 2008 the percentage of Chinese brand was 25%, but by 2009, this rate had substantially risen to 30%. In controst, the proportion of Jampanese brand. experienced a significant decline of 10% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of American brand remained stable and steady.

The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summerized as follows. as the conductor orchestarting the symphony of changes, our goverment has made tremendous effect to drive

economic raise and elevate the perchasing power of the populace. allowing them to afford automobiles which was deemed luxury items. In addition. Against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic

development the younger generations particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s. are accustomed to domestic automobiles.

what about future trends? I am confident that the

proportion, of Chinese brand. will steadily increase. In conrast the percentage of Japanese brand will continue to decrease.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：line chart

批改：图中是柱状图，用 bar chart

原文：The

批改：首字母不用大写

原文：The line chart clearly depicts The proportion of Chinese car market of certain car brand in 2008 and 2009.

批改：首段概括图表内容可以参考如下 “The bar chart clearly depicts the change of the market shares among Chinese, Japanese and American automobile brands from 2008 to 2009.”

原文：30%

批改：描述数据时尽量准确，图上可以看到国产品牌的比重超过了30%，因此可以说nearly/approximately/around 30%，有意识地积累一些可替换的小词，有利于提高表达的准确度

原文：controst

批改：正确写法为 contrast

原文：Jampanese

批改：正确写法为 Japanese

批改：注意标点符号的使用，删去

原文：a significant decline of

批改：多储备表变化的名词、动词、形容词、副词或词组在写作过程中会很有帮助，名词包括像 growth/reduction，动词像 increase/drop，副词和动词搭配如 slightly decrease，运用起来让人眼前一亮

原文：stable and steady

批改：stable和steady意思相近，删去其中一个

原文：The line chart clearly depicts The proportion of Chinese car market of certain car brand in 2008 and 2009. In 2008 the percentage of Chinese brand was 25%, but by 2009, this rate had substantially risen to 30%. In controst, the proportion of Jampanese brand. experienced a significant decline of 10% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of American brand remained stable and steady.

批改：首段概括了图表内容，较准确地描述了图中各项数据和它们之间的变化，需要注意区分不同图表类型（柱状图/折线图/饼状图等）及应当如何描述；除此之外，丰富用词，变换表达，像percentage/proportion/rate类似意思就存在多种表达方式，这样文章语言也就不会那么受限了

原文： In controst, the proportion of Jampanese brand. experienced a significant decline of 10% during the same period.

批改：除了in contrast，可以用while，将差别较为显著的两种品牌进行对比，这里将国产品牌和日系品牌进行对比，可以说 The proportion of Chinese brand rose from 25% to approximately 30% in 2008 and 2009, while the Japanese brand significantly decreased by 10%.

原文：summerized

批改：正确写法为 summarized

原文：as

批改：句首首字母大写 As

原文：orchestarting

批改：正确写法为 orchestrating

原文：goverment

批改：正确写法为 government

原文：effect

批改：正确写法为 effort

原文：economic raise

批改：牢记固定表达，economic growth “经济发展”

原文：perchasing power

批改：purchasing power “购买力”

批改：这里要用逗号

原文：was

批改：前面的automobiles是复数，用were

原文：deemed

批改：be deemed to be “被视为...”，也可以说 be regarded as

批改：这里用逗号

原文：Against

批改：首字母不用大写

原文：the younger generations

批改：前后用逗号隔开

批改：删去

原文：domestic automobiles

批改：be accustomed to doing sth. “习惯于做某事”，后面可以跟动词 using domestic automobiles

原文：what

批改：句首首字母需要大写

原文：,

批改：删去

批改：删去

原文：conrast

批改：正确写法为 contrast

原文：as the conductor orchestarting the symphony of changes, our goverment has made tremendous effect to drive economic raise and elevate the perchasing power of the populace. allowing them to afford automobiles which was deemed luxury items.

批改：分析产生这种趋势或现象的原因，给出的第一个原因是经济发展，人们的购买力提升。需要注意的是：一要合理分段，部分句子可以尝试用被动语态更简洁，如 “xxx has been boosted/elevated”；二可以有意识地替换表达，像 people/populace 就可以用 consumer 或 resident 等各种身份去指代

原文：In addition. Against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development the younger generations particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s. are accustomed to domestic automobiles.

批改：第二个原因是年轻人成为国产汽车的主要消费群体。除了本段论述的国家和社会层面，建议可以拓展更多主体，还可以从企业和个人的角度入手

原文：what about future trends? I am confident that the proportion, of Chinese brand. will steadily increase. In conrast the percentage of Japanese brand will continue to decrease.

批改：结尾预测未来国产汽车品牌的市场份额仍将继续扩大，建议可以对作为市场主体的国产汽车制造商或汽车企业提出“怎么做”的一些建议，如引进更多技术提升产品质量

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：6/15

1）内容上：概括了图表内容，数据及其变化描述还可以更准确；

2）语言上：出现较多词汇和语法错误，表达可以更灵活；

3）结构上：需合理进行段落布局，论述条理欠佳；

4）学习建议：

文章主要从两个角度展开论述，表达方面尤其需要注意词汇和语法的准确运用。有待提升的主要有三方面，一是语言上多积累表变化的动词、表程度的副词和描述最大最小值的一些短语，描述图表会更准确和形象；二是内容上可以从国家-社会-市场/企业-个人等主体展开，按“是什么（给观点）——为什么（析原因）——怎么做（结尾提措施/做法）”的逻辑展开，这样主干各要点更清晰明了；三针对现象-原因型文章，主要分析是什么原因导致该种趋势或现象的发生，写作过程中按各个主体的角度串联论述逻辑会让文章更有条理，如：由于经济发展，综合国力提升——一方面人们购买力提升，另一方面国产品牌有着自身优势广受欢迎，从而使人们对国产品牌更有信心——因此国产汽车品牌份额呈持续上升

对2011年考研英语二大作文的精读，让我们再一次感受到考研英语作文真题范文写作的命题趋势和得分要点。启航教育会持续发布考研英语写作干货，欢迎添加在线咨询老师，领取2027写作预测话题与范文精解，预约免费批改名额。