考研英语一写作冲刺每年的命题都会折射出当年的社会热点。本文呈现的2017年考研英语一批改范例,从生活实际出发,紧扣命题意图。启航教育老师在批注中详细指出了图(表)描述、原因分析与建议评论的合理答题节奏。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand, there is a youth lying on the chair and sayying "I have so many books”. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, there is a youth sitting beside the desk and sayying “I want to read 20 books". Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that real workingis the brush that paints a bright future, while fantasy thought is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes chances and challenges, real working has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its signiticance has become increasing evident. On the other hand fantasy thought is not merely a chronic poison that stifles potential, but also the Achilles heel of many youngsters and teenagers It silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructive slide, ultimately turning one into a devoted follower of the “lying flat" philosopiy
In brief, real working is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of fantasy thought to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:In the left-hand
批改:缺少核心名词,应补充为 “In the left-hand picture”(与 “right-hand picture” 对应,贴合题目中的 “两幅图” 表述)
原文:sayying
批改:saying
原文:in the right-hand portrayal
批改:“right-hand portrayal” 搭配不贴合图画场景,应改为 “right-hand picture”(与左图表述一致,更自然)
原文:changes chances and challenges
批改:changes, chances, and challenges
原文:signiticance
批改:significance
原文:increasing evident
批改:increasingly evident
原文:On the other hand fantasy thought
批改:On the other hand, fantasy thought... 注意标点
原文:Achilles heel
批改:Achilles’ heel
原文:philosopiy
批改:philosophy
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12分
同学你好!这篇作文的亮点非常突出:你精准抓住了图画 “‘空想囤书’vs‘实际规划读书’” 的核心主题,还用到了 “实际行动是绘就未来的画笔,空想是阻碍进步的枷锁” 这类生动的比喻,论述时也能结合 “躺平” 等现实概念,让内容更有深度;同时,你有意识地用了复杂句式和衔接词,逻辑连贯度很高,能看出你在语言表达上有不错的积累。
不过还有几个细节可以进一步优化:
图画描述要更精准:右图青年的表述是 “争取今年读完 20 本书”,补充 “this year” 和 “try my best” 能更准确体现 “主动规划行动” 的态度,让两幅图的对比更鲜明;
基础细节要严格把关:拼写、词形、标点这些小错误,是拉低 “语言准确性” 得分的关键,建议写完后花 2-3 分钟逐词检查;
你的作文整体不错,只要把这些细节问题修正,语言的精致度会明显提升!继续保持这个论述深度和逻辑框架,下次练习时重点关注细节准确性,加油~
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