考研英语一2024年大作文失分点批改

据启航教育英语教研组统计，考研英语作文批改话题连续多年成为考研英语一大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2024年考研英语一批改例文中，考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达，获得高分，其写作思路可供2027考研英语一考生直接借鉴。

一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目

考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a little boy standing in the new park near his home and saying that the park is so great.Simultaneously, in the right-hand chart, in 2020, the number of parks in a certain city was 406, but by 2022, this figure is had substantially risen to 670.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many parks, enabling people to take exercise.

In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people’s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted pheomenon in the chart and cartoon is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of people, serving as a microcosm of the changes in era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： the left-hand cartoon, there is a little boy standing in the new park near his home and saying that the park is so great.Simultaneously, in the right-hand chart, in 2020, the number of parks in a certain city was 406, but by 2022, this figure is had substantially risen to 670.

批改：段很好地完成了对漫画和图表的描述，要点齐全。开头的“Simultaneously”使用得很到位，体现了两个信息源的并列关系。句子结构也比较多样

原文：his figure is had substantially risen

批改：...this figure is had substantially risen to 670. 这里的动词形式可以稍作调整。“is had risen”是一个小小的语法混用。直接使用过去完成时 had risen 即可，因为它表示2020年之后、2022年之前已经完成的增长。更简洁自然的写法是使用一般过去时 rose 或者 had increased to。

原文：e core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many parks, enabling people to take exercise. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people’s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted pheomenon in the chart and cartoon is unsurprising.

批改：这两段分析了现象背后的原因，逻辑清晰，使用了“To start with”和“In addition”这样的衔接词，层次分明。特别值得表扬的是“conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes”这个比喻，非常生动形象，展示了很好的词汇量和语言运用能力。同时也准确地将疫情与健康意识联系起来，论证合理。

原文：epicted pheomen

批改：...the depicted pheomenon... 这里有一个小小的拼写错误，正确拼写是 phenomenon。这个单词比较长，需要留意一下哦

原文：about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of people, serving as a microcosm of the changes in era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：结尾段通过设问开启，形式很好。你对未来趋势表达了乐观的看法，并提升了文章立意，指出这是时代变化的缩影，这一点做得很棒

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16

内容要点： 你完整覆盖了所有内容要点，没有遗漏。

语法与词汇： 你使用了较丰富的语法结构（如非谓语动词、定语从句等）和词汇（如“orchestrating", "symphony", "microcosm”），展现了良好的语言积累。

语言准确性： 大部分语言表达正确，存在少数几处可以在准确性和地道性上提升的地方，但并不影响整体理解。

连贯与衔接： 层次清晰，并有效地使用了多种衔接手法，读起来很流畅。

总体修改建议：

同学，你这篇作文的框架和思路都非常清晰，这是最大的优点，建议你：

打造“语料库”： 将你发现的那些可以微调的地方（如 take exercise -> get some exercise, in era -> of the era）整理下来。平时阅读时，也多留意动词、名词和介词的固定搭配，这能让你的英文表达更像母语者。

你已经有意识写长句、复杂句了，这非常好！在保证结构完整和动词形式准确的前提下，大胆去用。可以多朗读范文，培养语感。

交卷前留出1-2分钟快速通读，检查拼写（如 phenomenon）和基本的单复数、时态问题，可以避免不必要的失分。

复习考研英语大作文，务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，专为冲刺阶段考生打造，从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全，是考研英语作文批改写作提分的可靠方案。