考研英语一2013年大作文实例分析与批改

想要在2027考研英语写作中拿到高分？研读启航教育整理的2013年考研英语一批改范例就是捷径之一。本文范文紧扣考研英语一作文真题核心话题，从开头引入到结尾升华都做了精细打磨，是短期内快速提升考研英语写作水平的优质资源。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, some graduates are sitting and making choices such as looking for a job or going abroad. Evidently, the picture intends to tell readers that making proper choices plays an important and positive role in both our personal lives and society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in many ways, and two points are particularly significant. On one hand, a good choice can stimulate our creativity, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful rather than self-consuming. On the other hand, a bad choice is like a heavy chain: it hinders children’s progress, leaves them with a negative outlook on life, and prevents them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, making good choices is the cornerstone of personal and societal development, from which we all benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this approach. Only by doing so can we fulfill our aspirations.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：s shown in the picture, some graduates are sitting and making choices such as looking for a job or going abroad. Evidently, the picture intends to tell readers that making proper choices plays an important and positive role in both our personal lives and society.

批改：开篇简洁有力，直接切入主题

原文：his phenomenon is thought-provoking in many ways, and two points are particularly significant. On one hand, a good choice can stimulate our creativity, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful rather than self-consuming. On the other hand, a bad choice is like a heavy chain: it hinders children’s progress, leaves them with a negative outlook on life, and prevents them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：本段论证层次分明，手法多样，既有理性分析又有形象比喻，显示出良好的写作能力

原文：rief, making good choices is the cornerstone of personal and societal development, from which we all benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this approach. Only by doing so can we fulfill our aspirations.

批改：结尾段很好地总结了全文，句式富有变化

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：18

总评与修改建议

你的作文展现了清晰的框架结构和扎实的语言功底。正反对比的论证方法运用得尤为出色，比喻和排比等修辞手法也为作文增添了不少亮点，这些都值得肯定。

如果想要让作文更上一层楼，可以在两个细节上多加留意：一是保持代词和名词在语境上的一致性，比如将“children”换成“graduates”或“young people”，使论述对象更加明确；二是注重句子结构的对称美，比如完善“both... and...”这样的平行结构。此外，如果在论证中能加入一两个具体的生活实例，将会使你的观点更加有说服力。

总的来说，这已经是一篇相当不错的作文，请保持你运用高级词汇和复杂句式的习惯，同时在细节处再多花些心思，你的写作水平一定会更加出色。

2013年考研英语一大作文是考研英语一作文真题常考话题的典型代表，研读与模仿高分范文是高效的提分方式。启航教育会持续推出考研英语大作文热点话题预测与范文精解，关注我们即可免费获取预测资料，欢迎在线咨询。