对于考研英语一而言,2017年大作文常以图画形式呈现。本文精解的这篇图画批改范例,启航教育老师逐句解读图画细节、寓意提炼与评论展开三步走,是考研英语作文万能句型图画作文的经典教学样本。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon,there is A man sitting on the chair near these books and saying "I have so many books."on the contrary,in the right-hand portrayal,this man plans finish 20 books in this year.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that practice is the brush that paints a bright future,while thinking only is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomena is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant .On the one hand,practice can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.On the other hand,thinking only is not only merely a chronic poison that stifles patential, but also the Achilles" heel of many youth.It is silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructive slide.
In brief, practice is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential and fulfill our aspirations.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:he left-hand cartoon,there is A man sitting on the chair near these books and saying "I have so many books."on the contrary,in the right-hand portrayal,this man plans finish 20 books in this year.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that practice is the brush that paints a bright future,while thinking only is the shackle that hinders progress.
批改:开篇描述清晰,对比结构使用得当。“on the contrary”这个连接词用得很准确。核心的比喻句写得非常精彩
原文: plans fini
批改:“plans finish” 中间需要加上 “to”,构成 “plans to finish”
原文:s A man sitt
批改:注意 “A man” 中的 “A” 不需要大写。
原文:s phenomena is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant .On the one hand,practice can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.On the other hand,thinking only is not only merely a chronic poison that stifles patential, but also the Achilles" heel of many youth.It is silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructive slide.
批改:本段的正反论证逻辑清晰,说理透彻。“ignite creativity”和“chronic poison”的运用非常贴切。“Achilles" heel”和“warping the ladder of ascent”这两个表达尤其出彩,显示了你的词汇量和思辨深度!
原文:henomena is t
批改:“This phenomena” 中,“phenomena” 是复数形式,其单数形式是 “phenomenon”,这里主语是单数,所以建议改为 “This phenomenon”。
原文: not only merely
批改:“not only merely” 意思重复,保留一个即可,使表达更简洁。“patential” 是 “potential” 的拼写错误。
原文: is silently erode
批改:“It is silently erodes...” 这个句子存在语法错误,要么是 “It silently erodes...”(现在时),要么是 “It is silently eroding...”(现在进行时),但不能混合使用。根据上下文,使用一般现在时 “It silently erodes...” 即可。
原文:ief, practice is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential and fulfill our aspirations.
批改:结尾段总结有力,再次升华主题
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
你的作文内容切题,结构严谨,论证充分,并成功使用了高级词汇和复杂句式。主要的提升空间在于语法细节的精准度和论述的一致性。
总评与建议:
同学,你这篇作文最突出的优点是严谨的结构和出色的修辞能力。你不仅能精准地描述漫画对比,还能运用“Achilles" heel”这样高级的典故和“warping the ladder of ascent”这样富有想象力的比喻,这非常难得!这证明了你拥有写出优秀作文的潜力。
当前,我们可以集中精力提升语言的精细度和论述的一致性。你的宏观架构和词汇储备都很棒,现在需要让微观的语法细节和段落内的逻辑与之完美匹配。我的核心建议是:
关注语法细节:请特别留意主谓一致和动词不定式的用法。写作时稍加留意,或者写完后再快速检查一遍,就能有效避免这类小失误。
保持主题一致:在写作和检查时,确保每一个句子,尤其是核心论点段,都紧密地围绕你文章的唯一主题展开,避免引入不相关的信息,这样会使你的论证更有力。
考研英语作文万能句型写作提分高效的方式,是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业,真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目,让考研英语写作更有底。
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