作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2013年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一作文模板常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a group of graduaters standing on the road of life, and facing many choices about future include seeking work, contiual studying, going aboard. and starting buisness. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that it is suit choice that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, suit choice can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, unsuit choice is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, suit choice is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benifit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, Only by doing so can we develop individual potential fulfill our aspirations and create a happier life.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: shown in the cartoon, there is a group of graduaters standing on the road of life, and facing many choices about future include seeking work, contiual studying, going aboard. and starting buisness. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that it is suit choice that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改: 你成功描述了图画的基本场景并列举了具体选择,结尾句也清晰地点明了文章主旨。
原文:graduaters standing on the road of life, and facing many choices about future include seeking work, contiual studying, going aboard. and starting buisness. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers
批改:“graduaters” 应为 “graduates”。“contiual” 应为 “continuing” 或 “further”。“aboard” 意为“在飞机/船上”,出国应该是 “going abroad”。“buisness” 拼写错误,应为 “business”。
原文:choices about future i
批改:“choices about future include...” 这部分结构不完整。建议修改为:“...facing many choices about their future, which include seeking work, pursuing further studies, going abroad, and starting businesses.”。
原文:is phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, suit choice can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, unsuit choice is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
批改: 本段从正反两方面论证,结构清晰。特别是反面论证,“heavy chain”的比喻用得很生动。
原文:unsuit choice is like a heavy
批改:“suit choice” 和 “unsuit choice” 应改为 “a suitable choice” 和 “an unsuitable choice”。
原文:d to benifit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, Only by doing so can we develop individual potential fulfill our aspirations and create a happier lif
批改:结尾段再次点题,并使用“catalyst”等高级词汇,值得肯定。“Only by doing so...”的倒装句也用得很好,增强了语气。
原文:o benifit.
批改:“benifit” 拼写错误,应为 “benefit”。
原文:suit choice is the
批改:suit choice” 问题同上,应改为 “making suitable choices”。“develop individual potential” 和 “fulfill our aspirations” 是并列关系,中间需要加上连词 “and”,即 “develop individual potential and fulfill our aspirations”。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16分
总体评分与建议
你的文章结构稳定,立意准确,并且能使用一些高级词汇和修辞手法。当前的主要提升空间在于语言表达的地道准确性和论证逻辑的紧密性。
修改建议
巩固核心表达:对于作文中反复出现的关键词(如suitable choice, graduates, business等),我们可以通过反复订正和记忆,确保拼写和用法完全准确。
读完本文,你对2013年考研英语一大作文的考研英语一作文模板写作思路是否有了更清晰的把握?启航教育为2027考研人整理的考研英语写作高分资料包,包含近年真题、高分模板、热点话题预测,在线咨询即可免费领取。
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