考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

2016年考研英语一大作文是考研英语作文模板备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

Given are two pictures vividly depicting the two stark contrast situation of parenting methods. The picture on the left shows a bad image of parenting that a father lounging and being absorbed in TV episodes forces his son to study while his son confusedly stares at father. On the contradiction, the right picture illustrates that both of them immerse exceedingly in the atmosphere of study. The caption below says”try to make an example instead of making demands”.

This striking scene reflects a disturbing social phenomenon:some adult children avoid their obligation to set an example for younger generation. The consequence is disastrous. It goes with no exaggeration to say that it could ruins the whole education and the traditional merit of respecting elders. First and foremost, only by recognizing the invaluable strength of example can we reverse this trend. What is worth noticing that our behaviour would subliminally affect younger generation,especially parents. Instead of condemning children for being laziness, we should utilize our leadership to set an example for kids. What’s more, the chinese traditional virtue of instructing through teaching and action should be availed and merged into contemporary education. Not only could it assist students establish the sense of responsibility but also they could pass down generation.

Fortunately, that is not the Day of Judgment. We should shoulder our duty to alter this adverse trend for the sake of later generation. To achieve this, it is quiet necessary for us to bear in mind that avoid requiring kids to do what we are not willing to do either, which Unbalanced liability has unlimited hazard. Stop complaining and make action immediately.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：Given are two pictures vividly depicting the two stark contrast situation of parenting methods. The picture on the left shows a bad image of parenting that a father lounging and being absorbed in TV episodes forces his son to study while his son confusedly stares at father. On the contradiction, the right picture illustrates that both of them immerse exceedingly in the atmosphere of study. The caption below says”try to make an example instead of making demands”.

批改：能够完整描述出图画中的内容，语言连贯

原文：ruins

批改：情态动词后加动词原形，改成ruin

批改：缺少is

原文：chinese

批改：国家名首字母大写

批改：+to避免一句话两个谓语

原文：This striking scene reflects a disturbing social phenomenon:some adult children avoid their obligation to set an example for younger generation. The consequence is disastrous. It goes with no exaggeration to say that it could ruins the whole education and the traditional merit of respecting elders. First and foremost, only by recognizing the invaluable strength of example can we reverse this trend. What is worth noticing that our behaviour would subliminally affect younger generation,especially parents. Instead of condemning children for being laziness, we should utilize our leadership to set an example for kids. What’s more, the chinese traditional virtue of instructing through teaching and action should be availed and merged into contemporary education. Not only could it assist students establish the sense of responsibility but also they could pass down generation.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：avoid

批改：动名词做主语avoiding

原文：Fortunately, that is not the Day of Judgment. We should shoulder our duty to alter this adverse trend for the sake of later generation. To achieve this, it is quiet necessary for us to bear in mind that avoid requiring kids to do what we are not willing to do either, which Unbalanced liability has unlimited hazard. Stop complaining and make action immediately.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，无拼写错误；句式方面，注意句子结构的完整，不要缺少成分；语法方面，注意情态动词后加动词原形以及动名词做主语以及一句话只能有一个谓语。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

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