考研英语写作模板命题趋势越来越关注社会热点与考生思辨能力。本文带来的2013年考研英语一批改范例,透过图表/图画深挖现象背后的本质,由启航教育老师逐段精批,可帮助考生建立稳定的考研英语写作思维框架。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are graduates facing different roads of live, which are seeking job, studying for postgraduation, making an education overseas and engaging in enterprise. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is choice that plays an important and positive role both in our personal live and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, choosing a correct way can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather than being self-consuming. What is more, in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, making a correct choose has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significate has become increasingly evident.
In brief, choosing a correst road is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there are graduates facing different roads of live, which are seeking job, studying for postgraduation, making an education overseas and engaging in enterprise.
批改:开头有描述图画的意识,表达清晰。
原文:roads of live
批改:roads of life虽然能被理解,但更地道的表达是 paths in life 或 a crossroads
原文:live
批改:live是v.这里需要n.改为life
原文:seeking job
批改:seeking job → seeking employment:在正式写作中用 employment 或 a job 更地道;seeking job 少了冠词且口语化。
原文:studying for postgraduation
批改:studying for postgraduation → pursuing postgraduate studies:英语中常用 pursue postgraduate studies 或 pursue a postgraduate degree,原表达不准确。
原文: live
批改:改为life
原文:it is choice that plays an important and positive role both in our personal live and in society.
批改:原句用 it is choice that… 虽可,但略生硬。更自然的是 the choices we make(主语明确)或 choice 作抽象名词时也可以,但要注意数与动词一致。 修改: the choices we make play an important role both in our personal life and in society.(或:choice plays an important role in both our personal life and society.)
原文: them
批改:two of which 是更正式、简练的关系从句表达。
原文:choosing a correct way
批改:a correct way → the right choice。表达“做出正确选择”时常用 make the right choice 或 make correct choices;原用法不自然。
原文:choose
批改:choose(动词)应改为名词 choice
原文:significate
批改:significate(形容词)应改为significance(名词)
原文: correst
批改:correst → correct,明显拼写错误
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there are graduates facing different roads of live, which are seeking job, studying for postgraduation, making an education overseas and engaging in enterprise. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is choice that plays an important and positive role both in our personal live and in society
批改:优点:能按照题目要求对图片进行基本描述;句子结构尝试使用定语从句,表达有一定复杂度。 不足:词类错误较多(live、choose 等),搭配不当(make an education overseas),描述不够自然地道;which 从句结构错误影响句意清晰度。 建议:注意先写“图画描述”,再写“总旨”;重点掌握 study abroad、seek employment 等考研常用搭配。
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, choosing a correct way can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather than being self-consuming. What is more, in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, making a correct choose has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significate has become increasingly evident.
批改:优点:能够抓住主题“选择的重要性”,定位正确。能提出多点论证,逻辑结构清晰(First… What is more…)。 不足:表达较生硬,存在 live→life 基础错误;主述不清晰导致可读性下降;整体语气偏口语化。 建议:第二段为“含义说明”,句子要稳、准、通顺,避免功能句使用生硬。
原文:In brief, choosing a correst road is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.
批改:优点:尝试做总结,结构意图清晰。 不足: 出现跑题内容(传统文化),写作评分会扣任务完成度分。 没有对应前文主题形成闭环。 建议:结尾必须回到主题“选择的重要性”,不要扩展到无关领域。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13分
这篇作文整体结构完整,能够按照考研要求分三部分呈现(图画描述—寓意解释—观点评论)。文章思想积极向上,论证结构较清晰,段与段之间衔接较为自然。
但主要问题集中在以下方面:
1.基础语言错误较多:包括 live/life、choose/choice、correst、significate 等。属于考研评分中最容易被扣分的部分。
2.大量中式搭配:如 make an education overseas、choose a correct way 等,影响语言自然度。
3.逻辑错误与跑题内容:结尾突然加入传统文化,与主题无关。
关于2013年考研英语一大作文,如果你还有其他疑问,或是想进一步研读考研英语写作模板高分范文,欢迎在线咨询启航教育的答疑老师。同时报名2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,即可加入考研英语研友社群,开启冲刺伴学。
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