考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

2016年考研英语一大作文围绕哪一类话题命题？本文精选的范文聚焦考研英语一真题话题方向，结合启航教育多年考研英语一教学沉淀，从描述图表、解读寓意到发表评论三大角度，完整呈现高分作文的内在结构。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon,there is father sitting on the sofa with somking, and watching TV,while demand his son to study hard. On the contrary,in the right-hand portrayal,both the father and son are studying hard. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children , while negative examples is the shackle that hinders their progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the quality of leading by examples is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thrivings .On the other hand,negative examples set by parents is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s development ,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for children"s development , from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice,additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children"s development stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

批改：语法正确

原文：is

批改：主语是复数形式，此处改为 are

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

原文： father

批改：可数名词单数形式不能单独存在，改为 a father

原文：with

批改：改为 逗号，在英语中，描述主语同时进行的另一个动作，应该使用现在分词（-ing形式），而不是“with + 动名词”的结构，此处删去 with, 改为逗号

原文：somking

批改：smoking

原文：demand

批改：改为 demanding， 和 smoking, watching 并列

批改：语法正确

原文：thrivings

批改：thriving

原文：is

批改：主语是复数形式，此处改为 are

批改：内容表达很好，也很具体

原文：,

批改：逗号不能连接两个完整的句子，此处改为 ；

批改：结尾段内容表达不错

原文：examples

批改：固定表达，改为 example，在此处，example 是一个不可数名词，表示“榜样作用”或“以身作则”这个抽象概念，而不是指多个具体的“例子”

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法和拼写问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改 2.拼写要细心。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，总的来说写的不错，加油！

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