考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2016年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, watching TV and saying "Son, you should study hard!" On the contrary, in the right-hand, the father and his son study together. Evidently, the cartonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders their progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in severd ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, postive examples can ignite children"s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative examples are like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for children"s development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative to ensure children’s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：n the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, watching TV and saying "Son, you should study hard!" On the contrary, in the right-hand, the father and his son study together. Evidently, the cartonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders their progress.

批改：开篇描述简洁有力，对比结构使用得当。"on the contrary"这个连接词用得很准确。核心的比喻句写得非常精彩

原文： phenomenon is thought-provoking in severd ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, postive examples can ignite children"s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative examples are like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：本段的正反论证逻辑清晰，说理透彻。"ignite creativity"和"heavy chain"的比喻与首段形成了很好的呼应，论证很有说服力

原文：rief, positive examples are the catalyst for children"s development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative to ensure children’s growth stays on course.

批改：结尾段总结有力，再次升华主题。"catalyst"和"detrimental effects"这两个高级词汇的使用非常准确，为文章增色不少。分号的使用也显示了良好的语法掌控能力。

原文：everd ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, postive examples

批改：severd"应为"several"，"postive"应为"positive"。

原文：onist intends

批改："cartonist"是"cartoonist"的笔误。"in the right-hand"后面建议加上"cartoon"或"portrayal"，使对比更加完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

你的作文内容切题，结构严谨，论证充分，并成功使用了高级词汇和复杂句式。主要的提升空间在于拼写准确性和少数表达的完整性。

总评与建议：

同学，你这篇作文最突出的优点是严谨的结构和生动的语言表达。你不仅完美地解读了漫画，还运用了精彩的比喻和高级词汇，这让你的论述既有力度又有文采，非常难得！

当前，我们可以集中精力提升细节的精准度。你的宏观架构和语言运用都很出色，现在需要让微观的拼写和语法细节与之匹配。我的核心建议是：

加强拼写检查：特别关注那些你熟悉但容易笔误的单词（如cartoonist, positive），写完后再通读一遍，往往能自己发现并改正。

确保表达完整：在运用对比结构时，留意两边的成分是否对称和完整。

保持词汇优势：请务必保持使用"catalyst"、"detrimental"这样精准词汇的好习惯，这是你的显著优势。

本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。