当你坐在考研英语一考场,面对2013年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语一作文范文话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a group of graduates standing at the crossroad of their future and choosing one of four roads to go, which names job hunting, postgraduate entrance exam, go abroad and start a business. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that it is choosing a suitable road that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, choosing a suitable road of our future has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. On the other hand, neglecting own decisions about the future is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society, but also significantly affecting its competitiveness.
In brief, choosing a suitable road is the catalyst for society and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we fulfill our aspirations and make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:hown in the cartoon, there is a group of graduates standing at the crossroad of their future and choosing one of four roads to go, which names job hunting, postgraduate entrance exam, go abroad and start a business. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that it is choosing a suitable road that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:你对图画的描述非常生动,成功营造了“人生十字路口”的意象。结尾句也清晰地点明了文章主旨。
原文:hich names job hu
批改:“which names job hunting...” 这个定语从句结构不准确。可以改为 “labeled as job hunting, pursuing postgraduate studies, going abroad, and starting a business”。“go abroad” 应改为 “going abroad” 以保持动名词形式的统一。
原文:is phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, choosing a suitable road of our future has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. On the other hand, neglecting own decisions about the future is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society, but also significantly affecting its competitiveness.
批改:本段从正反两方面论证,结构清晰。“heavy chain”的比喻非常有力。但第二个论点内部的逻辑可以更严谨。
原文:en’s progress
批改:第二个论点中,“hinders children’s progress” 的论述对象与图画中的“毕业生”存在偏差。建议将“children”改为 “young people” 或 “individuals”,使论证更准确。此外,“but also significantly affecting its competitiveness” 中的 “its” 指代模糊(是指个人还是社会?),且与前面的 “depriving...” 和 “preventing...” 并列结构不一致。可以将其修改为与前文平行的结构。
原文:rief, choosing a suitable road is the catalyst for society and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we fulfill our aspirations and make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
批改:结尾段总结有力,再次点题,并使用了“catalyst”等高级词汇。“renewed brilliance”的表述也很有文采。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
你的文章结构稳固,立意深刻,论证清晰,并且能使用高级词汇和复杂句式。主要的提升空间在于确保论证逻辑的严谨与一致,特别是论述对象和指代的清晰性。
修改建议
保持论述对象的前后统一。 在展开论证时,确保你讨论的对象(如图画中的“毕业生”)与你的论点中的主体(如文中的“children”)保持一致。这样可以使整篇文章的针对性更强,逻辑更严密。
学习考研英语写作不是一个人的战斗。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班配套研友社群,主讲在线答疑、批改反馈、打卡提醒,全程陪伴你的考研英语一作文范文备考之路。欢迎添加在线咨询老师,了解最新开班信息。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考