本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2013年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates standing at the crossroads of life. and have many different choices, named job-hunting, postgraduate entrance examination, going abroad and starting a business. Evidently. the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that is choosing a suitable path that con exert a great influence both in gratuates" lives.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. but two of them are particularly significant. first and foremost, choose a suitable path can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self- fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consumming. What is more, in modern society full of changes, and challenge. choosing a suitable path and persevering with it has become a key factor that. distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people. and its signficiance has become increasingly evident.
In brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can me develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations, and create a happier life.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:ave many d
批改:句子中间使用了句号(. and have...),这是一个语法错误,可以改为逗号,并将have改为分词形式having
原文:that is choosing a suita
批改:that is choosing...这个从句结构不完整,可以调整为that choosing a suitable path can exert...。con是笔误,应为can;gratuates"应为graduates"
原文:own in the cartoon, there are many graduates standing at the crossroads of life. and have many different choices, named job-hunting, postgraduate entrance examination, going abroad and starting a business. Evidently. the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that is choosing a suitable path that con exert a great influence both in gratuates" l
批改:开篇点出了漫画的核心要素——“人生的十字路口”,这个比喻非常贴切
原文: first and foremost, choose a suitable path ca
批改:first 首字母没有大写。 choose a suitable path can...是常见错误,动词原形不能作主语。这里应改为动名词形式Choosing a suitable path can...
原文:elf- fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consumming. What is more, in modern society full of changes, and challenge. choosing a suitable path and persevering with it has become a key factor that. distinguishes exceptional individuals fro
批改:self- fulfillment和self-consumming的拼写和连字符需要注意,正确形式是self-fulfillment和self-consuming。 full of changes, and challenge.标点和单复数使用不当,可改为full of changes, chances, and challenges。 that. distinguishes中间不应有句号。 signficiance 应为 significance。
原文:s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. but two of them are particularly significant. first and foremost, choose a suitable path can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self- fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consumming. What is more, in modern society full of changes, and challenge. choosing a suitable path and persevering with it has become a key factor that. distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people. and its signficiance has become increasingly evident.
批改:这是全文的亮点段落,论证有力,思辨性强
原文:an me develop
批改:can me develop 是明显的笔误,应为 can we develop。
原文:brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can me develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations, and create a happier life.
批改:结尾段很好地总结了全文,并再次点题。排比句develop..., fulfill..., and create...的运用增强了语势,是个漂亮的结尾。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
主要优点:
结构严谨,逻辑清晰:你的文章框架非常符合考研作文的要求,三段式结构合理,尤其是第二段的两个论点,层层递进,论证充分。
内容切题,论述有深度:你不仅指出了选择的重要性,还深入分析了其带来的个人价值与竞争优势,显示了你的思考能力。
语言亮点突出:你能够熟练运用crossroads of life, catalyst, fulfill our aspirations等地道表达和高级句型,为文章增色不少。
核心提升点:
消灭“马虎错误”:当前最需要关注的是那些可以通过检查避免的错误,包括:拼写(如significance)、主谓一致(Choosing... can...)、标点符号(避免句号逗号混用)和基本语法(动词作主语要用动名词)。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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