考研英语一2017年大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2017年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一作文模板高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目

考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon,there is a man facing many books but without reading a book only says he has many book .On the contrary,there is also a man sitting chair reading book and creating a plan that reading twenty books in this year.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that take action is the brush that paints a bright future, while only saying not doing is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost, Only saying not doing can harm relationships, erode trust and respect, and cause the loss of opportunities and resources. It can also damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations. What is more,in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, take action has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its

significance has become increasingly evident.

In brief, take action is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice ;additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of only saying not doing to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： left-hand cartoon,there is a man facing many books but without reading a book only says he has many book .On the contrary,there is also a man sitting chair reading book and creating a plan that reading twenty books in this year.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that take action is the brush that paints a bright future, while only saying not doing is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：你准确地描述了两幅图画的对比，并成功提炼出核心寓意，这非常棒！开篇点题做得很好。

原文： sitting chair readi

批改：这里缺少了必要的介词。地道的表达是 sitting on a chair 和 reading a book。

原文：many book

批改： 名词 book 在 many 后面应该用复数形式 books。

原文：ing a plan that reading t

批改：...creating a plan that reading twenty books... 从句中的 that reading 结构不完整。that 引导从句时，后面需要接一个结构完整的句子。这里可以改为 creating a plan to read twenty books...（使用动词不定式表目的）。

原文：phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost, Only saying not doing can harm relationships, erode trust and respect, and cause the loss of opportunities and resources. It can also damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations. What is more,in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, take action has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.

批改：本段从个人信誉和现代社会需求两个层面展开论证，角度全面，思考有深度。特别是第二个论点，紧密结合了时代背景，很有说服力。

原文：Only saying not doin

批改：Only saying not doing 同样需要改为动名词主语 Only saying but not doing。 Only 作为句首单词，不需要大写，应为 only。

原文：more,in modern so

批改：What is more,in modern society..., take action has become... 这里再次出现了主语问题，take action 应改为 taking action。

原文：and to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice ;additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of only saying not doing to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：结论段总结到位，并提出了积极的倡议，结构完整。句子间的衔接也很流畅。

原文：ake action is the catalyst for

批改：take action is the catalyst... 依然是主语问题，应改为 taking action is the catalyst...

原文： detrimental effects

批改：...the detrimental effects of only saying not doing... 介词 of 后面需要接名词性成分，所以这里应改为 the detrimental effects of only saying but not doing。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

评分理由：

你的这篇作文在内容和结构上完成得相当出色：

内容与结构：完整涵盖了图画描述、寓意阐释、观点论证和总结建议，逻辑层次清晰。

词汇与语法：能够熟练使用“catalyst", "detrimental", "erode", "distinguishes...from..."等高级词汇和复杂句式，语言功底扎实。

衔接与连贯：使用“On the contrary", "First and foremost", "What is more"等衔接词，使文章行文流畅，论证有力。

目前存在的主要问题集中在一个核心的语法点上，即动词原形不能直接作主语，需要变为动名词形式。这个问题多次出现，影响了表达的精准度。

总评与修改建议：

我给你的核心建议是：

建立“动词主语检查”机制：在写作时，每当你要用一个动作（如“采取行动”、“空谈”）作为句子的开头（主语），请有意识地在自己心里问一句：“这个动词后面加-ing了吗？”。在完成全文后，可以专门快速通读一遍，只检查每一个句子的主语，看看是不是动词-ing的形式。

本文展示的2017年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一作文模板的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。