考研英语一2016年大作文怎么写？附例文批改

面对2016年考研英语一大作文，许多同学最关心的是有没有可复制的写作模板。本文带来的高分范文严格遵循考研英语作文模板高分框架，从开头引入、主体论证到结尾呼应，全文清晰流畅，是考研英语考生的必备学习资料。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man sitting in a sofa ,watching the TV and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man is study hard with his son together.Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that a positive example is the brush that paints a bright future of children, while negative example is the shackle that hinders progress of children.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a positive example can ignite children’s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, a negative example is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, a positive example is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of a negative example to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：he left-hand cartoon, there is a man sitting in a sofa ,watching the TV and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man is study hard with his son together.Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that a positive example is the brush that paints a bright future of children, while negative example is the shackle that hinders progress of children.

批改： 你对两幅图画的对比描述非常清晰、准确。尤其精彩的是，你用“the brush that paints a bright future”和“the shackle that hinders progress”这两个比喻来总结寓意，非常生动且有力，是段落的亮点。

原文：sitting in a sofa ,watching the

批改：“sitting in a sofa” 地道的用法是 “sitting on a sofa”。“is study hard” 存在语法错误，应改为 “is studying hard”。

原文：s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a positive example can ignite children’s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, a negative example is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改： 本段从正反两方面论证，结构清晰，逻辑严密。使用的“ignite creativity", "heavy chain"等词汇也非常贴切。正面影响的论证尤为充实。

原文：brief, a positive example is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of a negative example to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改： 结尾段总结有力，“catalyst”（催化剂）一词的使用非常精准和高阶。提出的建议也兼具概括性和针对性，很好地收束了全文。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17

总评：

内容要点：完整覆盖了描述、阐释、评论的所有内容要点，立意准确。

语言运用：词汇丰富度高（如catalyst, detrimental, self-fulfillment），并成功运用了比喻、并列等修辞手法，显示了良好的语言驾驭能力。

连贯与衔接：文章结构层次清晰，使用了“On the one hand... On the other hand...", "Therefore..."等衔接手段，逻辑流畅。

修改建议

深化论证的层次：在现有的清晰逻辑上，尝试为每个论点增加一句更具体的解释或例证，使说理更具体

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