一篇高分的考研英语大作文,常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2016年考研英语二批改范例,每一段都体现了这三大要素,启航教育考研英语二写作技巧教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。
一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目
考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly displays the
percentage breakdown of investigation of traveling among students at a certain university. Enjoying the scenery takes the lead at 37%, followed by relieving stress at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, cultivating
independence and other purposes are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15%,
respectively.
The core reasons for the observed
phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
To start with, as the saying goes: “on life’s
stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront
immense academic pressure, and as a result,
traveling has emerged as their significant
choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition, in
the wake of the high-speed advancement of
society, people’s attitudes towards
consumption have undergone significant
changes—university students’ ways of
relieving stress have undergone significant
changes. This explains why an increasing
number of university students choose to
relieve stress through traveling. Considering
these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident
that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of university
students, serving as a microcosm of the
changes in the era, and will likely remain
relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:investigation
批改:改为 various purposes
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图表内容
批改:语法正确
原文::
批改:此处为逗号
原文:on
批改:首字母大写
批改:语法正确
批改:语法正确
批改:在对饼状图进行原因分析时,我们多选择占比最大的一至两个元素进行剖析。其中,欣赏风景占比 37%,必须进行原因分析,不能只从缓解压力的角度进行分析。
批改:结尾段内容表达很好
原文: people’s attitudes towards consumption have undergone significant changes—
批改:删去,和此处图表内容无关
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分/ 15分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明的个人观点与图表的内容是贴合的
语言表达:词汇表达不错,句式表达也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体,但是在对饼状图进行原因分析时,必须要对占比最大的元素进行分析。
修改建议:1.标点使用和首字母大小写要规范 2. 中间段必须要对占比最大的元素进行分析。之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的表达,总的来说写的不错,加油!
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