考研英语二2011年大作文真题与例文批改

2011年考研英语二大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语二作文真题常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、考研英语二2011年大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、考研英语二2011年大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts the marker share of some brands in the domastic car market. In 2008, the percentage of domesac brand was approumately 285, bus by 2009, this rase had suistentially risen to around 31%. In cortrast, the proportion of Japanese brand. experienced a significant decline of about 10I during the some time from 2008 to 2009. Simultincausly, the percontage of American beand remained stable and steady.

The core reasons for the doserved phenommon can be summarized as follows. To start with, agamst the backdrop of our countrys rapid and dunamic development, the younger generation, particulary those bborn. in the 1980s and 1990s, are accustomed to using domestic cars and have become the beprmary consumer group. In addition. Chinese society is undergoing an antersive and profaund transformation. In my views the fundamental meason for this phenomenon is the sugnificant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpnsing.

What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of dometic brand wil steadily increase in the following decades. In contract, the proportion of overseas brand will likely continue to decrease.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：marker

批改：正确写法为 market

原文：The bar chart clearly depicts the marker share of some brands in the domastic car market.

批改：首句概括图表内容，可以这样表述“The bar chart clearly depicts the change of the market shares among Chinese, Japanese and American automobile brands from 2008 to 2009.”

原文：domesac

批改：正确写法为 domestic

原文：approumately

批改：正确写法为 approximately

原文：285

批改：数据错误，图中国产汽车品牌的市场份额大约是25%

原文：bus

批改：正确写法为 but

原文：rase

批改：正确写法为 rate

原文：suistentially

批改：正确写法为 substantially

原文：cortrast

批改：正确写法为 contrast

批改：删去

原文：10I

批改：图中数据为10%

原文：some

批改：正确写法为 same

原文：from 2008 to 2009

批改：删去

原文：Simultincausly

批改：正确写法为 Simultaneously

原文：percontage

批改：正确写法为 percentage

原文：beand

批改：正确写法为 brand

原文：stable and steady

批改：stable和steady意思相近，删去其中一个

原文：The bar chart clearly depicts the marker share of some brands in the domastic car market. In 2008, the percentage of domesac brand was approumately 285, bus by 2009, this rase had suistentially risen to around 31%. In cortrast, the proportion of Japanese brand. experienced a significant decline of about 10I during the some time from 2008 to 2009. Simultincausly, the percontage of American beand remained stable and steady.

批改：首段描述了图表内容，但数据和数据之间的变化描述的不够准确，可以多积累表变化的动词如increase/rise/drop，以及表程度的副词如dramatically/significantly/steadily，还有描述最大最小值的短语如account for the largest proportion

原文：doserved

批改：正确写法为 observed

原文：phenommon

批改：正确写法为 phenomenon

原文：agamst

批改：正确写法为 against

原文：countrys

批改：正确写法为 country"s

原文：dunamic

批改：正确写法为 dynamic

原文：particulary

批改：正确写法为 particularly

原文：bborn

批改：正确写法为 born

批改：删去

原文：beprmary

批改：正确写法为 primary

批改：这里要用逗号

原文：antersive

批改：正确写法为 extensive

原文：profaund

批改：正确写法为 profound

原文：meason

批改：正确写法为 reason

原文：sugnificant

批改：正确写法为 significant

原文：manufacturing industry

批改：可以说 manufacturing / car manufacturing / automobile industry

原文：In my views the fundamental meason for this phenomenon is the sugnificant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes

批改：不要漏了句号

原文：unsurpnsing

批改：正确写法为 unsurprising

原文：The core reasons for the doserved phenommon can be summarized as follows. To start with, agamst the backdrop of our countrys rapid and dunamic development, the younger generation, particulary those bborn. in the 1980s and 1990s, are accustomed to using domestic cars and have become the beprmary consumer group. In addition. Chinese society is undergoing an antersive and profaund transformation. In my views the fundamental meason for this phenomenon is the sugnificant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpnsing.

批改：主干分析了产生图中现象的原因，从国家和社会两个层面论述，还可以从“国产品牌的自身优势”入手，如 “Chinese automobile brand, preferred by the young, has been more competitive due to its advantageous price and technological advancement.”

原文：dometic

批改：正确写法为 domestic

原文：contract

批改：正确写法为 contrast

原文：What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of dometic brand wil steadily increase in the following decades. In contract, the proportion of overseas brand will likely continue to decrease.

批改：结尾预测“未来国产汽车品牌的市场份额将继续扩大”，还可以对作为市场主体的国产汽车制造商或汽车企业提出展望或“怎么做”的一些建议，如引进更多技术提升产品质量

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：5/15

1）内容上：图表数据及其变化描述不够准确；

2）语言上：用词和表达出现较多错误，部分句子不是很通顺；

3）结构上：有写作角度但缺乏行文条理；

4）学习建议：

有待提升的主要有三方面，一是语言上多积累表变化的动词、表程度的副词和描述最大最小值的一些短语，描述图表会更准确和形象；二是内容上可以从国家-社会-市场/企业-个人等主体展开，按“是什么（给观点）——为什么（析原因）——怎么做（结尾提措施/做法）”的逻辑展开，这样主干各要点更清晰明了；三针对现象-原因型文章，主要分析是什么原因导致该种趋势或现象的发生，写作过程中按各个主体的角度串联论述逻辑会让文章更有条理，如：由于经济发展，综合国力提升（国家）——一方面人们购买力提升（社会），另一方面国产品牌有着自身优势广受欢迎（市场/企业），从而使人们对国产品牌更有信心，尤其是年轻群体（个人偏好）——因此国产汽车品牌份额呈持续上升（总结）——未来将继续大力发展汽车制造业（展望+提措施），还可以结合时事热点和具体的例子进行阐述，继续加油！

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