本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2024年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
As shown in the left picture, few people is doing their daily exersice in the city park, a man is standing infront of them and saying, "it is so good to have a new park near home!” The right-hand picture shows the growths of the city park in recent 3 years. From 4 hundred to about 7 hundred, it increased almost 3 hundred parks in past three years.
The phenomenon is though-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, people are think highly of the importance of daily exersice, which demonstrate the improvement of citizens" health awareness. On the other hand, the government invested a great number of funds in building parks, shows their constructive strength to citizens" quality of life.
To sum it up, city park can bring a significant change in building a healthy life-style. It can not only improve the health-awareness, but also provides a energetic and colorful way of life.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:shown in the left picture, few people is doing their daily exersice in the city park, a man is standing infront of them and saying, "it is so good to have a new park near home!” The right-hand picture shows the growths of the city park in recent 3 years. From 4 hundred to about 7 hundred, it increased almost 3 hundred parks in past three years.
批改:第一段成功描述了两幅图的核心信息
原文:few pe
批改:few people is -> a few people are。“people”是复数名词,谓语动词要用“are”
原文:xersice in the city park, a man is standing infront of them and saying, "it is so good to have a new
批改:exersice -> exercise。注意拼写。 infront -> in front。这是两个词。
原文: the growths
批改:the growths -> the growth。“growth”在这里是不可数名词
原文: recent 3 yea
批改:in recent 3 years -> over the recent 3 years 或 in the recent 3 years。需要加上定冠词“the”。
原文:e phenomenon is though-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, people are think highly of the importance of daily exersice, which demonstrate the improvement of citizens" health awareness. On the other hand, the government invested a great number of funds in building parks, shows their constructive strength to citizens" quality of life.
批改:你分析出的两个原因——个人健康意识和政府投入——都非常准确,切中要害
原文:hough-provoki
批改:though-provoking -> thought-provoking。注意拼写。
原文:ich demonstrate
批改:which demonstrate -> which demonstrates。关系代词“which”指代前面整个句子时,谓语动词常用单数。
原文:exersice
批改:exersice -> exercise。注意拼写。
原文:um it up, city park can bring a significant change in building a healthy life-style. It can not only improve the health-awareness, but also provides a energetic and colorful way of life.
批改:结尾段很好地总结了公园的积极作用。
原文: improve the health-awareness, but also
批改:not only improve... but also provides -> not only improve... but also provide。“not only... but also”连接的两个动词形式应保持一致。
原文: a energetic
批改:a energetic -> an energetic。冠词“a”用于辅音音素开头的词前;“energetic”以元音音素开头,故用“an”。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:这篇作文内容完整,逻辑清晰,但在语言运用的准确性和丰富性上仍有提升空间
总评与修改建议:
同学,你在这篇作文中展现出了很好的观察力,能够从图画中提炼出关键的社会现象并进行有理有据的分析,这是非常可贵的能力!
为了帮助你更稳步地提升分数,老师建议你可以从以下两个方面重点努力:
巩固语法根基:请特别留意主谓一致(如 people are, which demonstrates)和并列结构的一致性(not only A but also B)。这是让文章显得严谨、可靠的关键。你可以通过多读范文,有意识地观察这些语法点是如何被使用的。
仔细校对拼写与搭配:exercise, thought-provoking等是图表作文的高频词,请务必记牢。在写作完成后,如果时间允许,建议快速通读一遍,许多笔误自己就能发现。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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