考研英语一2013年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2013年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一作文模板话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates, standing on the road and facing four choices, called "pursuing employment, attending postgraduate entrance examination , going abroad and starting business." Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is various choices that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, the various choices can ignite our creativity, promote our personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, neglecting various choices is like a heavy chain that hinders our children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on society and preventing them from shining brightly in future lives.

In brief, the various choices are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should positively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates, standing on the road and facing four choices, called "pursuing employment, attending postgraduate entrance examination , going abroad and starting business." Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is various choices that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：various choices

批改：主题词最好是“appropriate choice”合适的选择

原文：various choices

批改：appropriate choice

原文：various choices

批改：appropriate choice

原文：The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, the various choices can ignite our creativity, promote our personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, neglecting various choices is like a heavy chain that hinders our children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on society and preventing them from shining brightly in future lives.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：various choices are

批改：appropriate choice is

原文：In brief, the various choices are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should positively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，句子结构完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，无拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，语法基础较好。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬，要注意主题词的选取要有针对性一些，不能太泛泛。继续加油。

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