考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2016年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, enjoy the Tv show , smoking cigarettes, and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand, there is a man, studying with his son and setting a example. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that setting example is the brush that paints a bright future for children, while only making demands is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, neglecting the power of example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in the future. On the other hand, setting example can ignite children"s passion, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.

In brief, making example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively promote and advocate this practice. Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of merely making demands to ensure children"s growth stays on course

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：enjoy

批改：非谓语enjoying

原文：a

批改：an

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, enjoy the Tv show , smoking cigarettes, and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand, there is a man, studying with his son and setting a example. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that setting example is the brush that paints a bright future for children, while only making demands is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, neglecting the power of example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in the future. On the other hand, setting example can ignite children"s passion, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：making

批改：setting

原文：In brief, making example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively promote and advocate this practice. Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of merely making demands to ensure children"s growth stays on course

批改：起到了呼吁和号召的作用，紧扣主题，语言连贯完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意元音开头的单词前加an修饰；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意非谓语的正确使用。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。