2016年考研英语一大作文的评分标准严格,对图表描述、主题提炼与观点阐述三大能力均有考查。本文精选的这篇高分批改范例,全程贯彻考研英语一大作文写作锦囊的核心要点,可作为考研英语写作的标杆范文。
一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目
考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, siting on sofa, watching TV, and saying to his son, "you should study hard”. On contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another father study with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples is the brush that paints a bright furture, while negative examples is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways , but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making our life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative examples is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life, and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, positive examples is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to beniefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:he left-hand cartoon, there is a father, siting on sofa, watching TV, and saying to his son, "you should study hard”. On contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another father study with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples is the brush that paints a bright furture, while negative examples is the shackle that hinders progress.
批改:你对两幅图画的对比描述非常到位,直接点明了核心差异。结尾的总结句是全文的亮点,比喻贴切且有力。
原文:siting on sofa, watching TV, and saying to his son, "you should study hard”. On contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another father study with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends
批改:siting” 拼写错误,应为 “sitting”。“On contrary” 缺少定冠词,应为 “On the contrary”。“furture” 拼写错误,应为 “future”。
原文:nother father stud
批改:“another father study” 存在主谓不一致,应改为 “another father studies”。
原文:mples is the brush
批改:positive examples is” 和 “negative examples is” 存在主谓不一致,复数主语 “examples” 应搭配 “are”。
原文:s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways , but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making our life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative examples is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life, and preventing them from shining brightly in future societ
批改: 本段从正反两方面论证,结构清晰。“heavy chain”的比喻非常形象,后续的论述也很有力。
原文:egative examples is
批改:negative examples is” 存在主谓不一致,应改为 “negative examples are”。
原文: ignite our creativity, and prom
批改:正面影响的论证中,“ignite creativity” 和 “promote growth” 的表述稍显概括。可以思考一下“正面榜样”是如何具体带来这些好处的,例如补充一句:“By observing and emulating positive role models, children learn valuable life skills and develop the confidence to pursue their own goals.”
原文:ief, positive examples is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to beniefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:结尾段总结有力,“catalyst”(催化剂)一词的使用非常精准。提出的建议也很好地收束了全文。
原文:o beniefit. T
批改::“beniefit” 拼写错误,应为 “benefit”。
原文:ve examples is
批改:“positive examples is” 问题同上,应改为 “positive examples are”
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
总评:
你的文章具备了清晰的结构、准确的立意和出彩的亮点句,这为你冲击高分奠定了坚实的基础。主要的提升空间在于彻底消除文中的拼写和语法错误,并确保主谓一致。
完成最后的“检查”步骤。 文中的许多错误(如sitting, future, benefit等)都是常见词的拼写和语法问题。如果能在完稿后花两分钟快速通读一遍,完全可以避免。
启航教育坚持『专业·敬业·服务好』的理念,深耕考研英语教研多年。本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文仅是冰山一角,更多考研英语一大作文高分资料与免费批改服务,期待与每一位2027考研人在在线咨询中相遇。
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