思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2017年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy, sitting on sofa and saying proudly that he has many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another boy makes a yearly plan of reading 20 books. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that being practical is the brush that paints a bright future, while daydreaming is the shackle that hinders progress,
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, being practical can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-comsuming. On the other hand, daydreaming is like a heavy chain that hinders our progress. leaving us with a negative outlook on life, and preventing us from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, being practical is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, additionally, we must be aware of the detrimental effects of daydreaming to ensure our growth stays on course
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:on sofa
批改:sofa 作为可数名词,前面需要加冠词 the 或 a
原文: the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy, sitting on sofa and saying proudly that he has many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another boy makes a yearly plan of reading 20 books. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that being practical is the brush that paints a bright future, while daydreaming is the shackle that hinders progress
批改:图画描述简洁且抓住了核心对比,寓意揭示部分通过“画笔”与“枷锁”的生动比喻,深刻地道出了“务实”与“空想”的差别
原文: self-comsuming
批改:self-comsuming 拼写错误,应为 self-consuming
批改:改为逗号
原文:ignite our creativity
批改:“ignite our creativity” 与 “务实行动” 的逻辑关联稍弱,改为 “ignite our motivation to pursue goals”(“激发追求目标的动力” 更贴合语境)
原文: us with a negative outlook on life
批改:“leaving us with a negative outlook on life” 表述绝对,改为 “making us complacent and losing the motivation to make progress”(更贴合 “只说不做” 的后果,逻辑更严谨)
原文:reventing us from shining brightly in future society
批改: 句式优化,“preventing us from shining brightly in future society” 可改为 “preventing us from achieving our potential in the long run”(“发挥潜力” 比 “大放异彩” 更朴实贴切,符合作文语体)
批改:本段从正反两方面深入阐述了“务实”与“空想”的影响,论证有力。逻辑结构严谨,部分表述上可以再优化和严谨一点。
原文:tice, addit
批改:两个完整的独立句子 Therefore... practice 和 additionally... course 不能用逗号连接,应改为句号。additionally 首字母应大写。
原文:e
批改:本段对全文进行了有力的总结,并提出了具有建设性的建议,内容完整,思想深刻。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20分
主旨明确,精准捕捉到 “务实行动 vs 空谈炫耀” 的图画核心寓意。作者将“务实”的深刻价值与“空想”的潜在危害展现得淋漓尽致,提升了文章的思辨性。文章结构严谨,逻辑层层递进。在语言层面,展现了丰富的词汇量和驾驭复杂句式的能力。主要的优化空间在于一些微观的写作规范,如逗号粘连和个别拼写错误;部分表述与图画关联不够精准,建议稍显空泛,在套用模版的同时可以根据作文本身进行适度调整,增加适配性和连接性。若能优化此类细节问题,使文章在严谨性上更上一层楼,分数将有进一步的提升。
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2017年考研英语一范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语作文真题范文免费批改名额。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考