想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数?研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2013年考研英语一批改范例,从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论,每一段都渗透着考研英语写作锦囊热点话题的得分要点。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates, standing on the way of their lives and making the decisions about their future development, such as getting further education, going abroad, looking for jobs and so on. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that the choice which is suitable for themselves is the brush that paints a bright future, while unsuitable choice is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, the suitable choice can ignite their creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.On the other hand, the unsuitable choice is like a heavy chain that hinders their progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them shining brightly in future society.
In brief, the suitable choice is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of unsuitable choice to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:s shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates, standing on the way of their lives and making the decisions about their future development, such as getting further education, going abroad, looking for jobs and so on. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that the choice which is suitable for themselves is the brush that paints a bright future, while unsuitable choice is the shackle that hinders progress.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:their
批改:指代不清,应改成:students
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, the suitable choice can ignite their creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.On the other hand, the unsuitable choice is like a heavy chain that hinders their progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them shining brightly in future society.
批改:能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点,能够运用逻辑关系词,使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。
原文:In brief, the suitable choice is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of unsuitable choice to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:18/20
内容切题,全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,无拼写错误;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,语法基础很好。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬,要注意代词使用时注意指代清晰明确,继续加油。
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