考研英语一2011年大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2011年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一真题高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture,there are two people sitting on the boat,enjoying the beautiful scenery,and throwing garbage into the lack.Evidently,the picture intends to convey to the readers,that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,tragically,although the the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon,its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals,in their pursuit of economic interests,have disregarded the importance of protecting environment.What is more,environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress,not only hindering its ability to maintain rapid and healthy growth,but also significantly affecting it"s international image.

How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including issuing related laws and strengthening the guilding role of the media in public opinion.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?The fact is we also need to strengthen education about environment protecting.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the picture,there are two people sitting on the boat,enjoying the beautiful scenery,and throwing garbage into the lack

批改：① 标点缺失 “picture,there”→“picture, two”（句间停顿加逗号，考研基础格式）；② 冠词冗余 “the boat”→“a boat”（首次提 “一艘船” 无需特指）；lack拼写错误，应该是 lake

原文：Evidently,the picture intends to convey to the readers,that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal and in society.

批改：① 标点冗余 “readers,that”→“readers that”（宾语从句连接词前不加逗号）；② 词汇错误 “environment pollution”→“environmental pollution”（形容词 + 名词为考研正确搭配）；④ 成分补充 “personal”→“personal lives”（“personal” 为形容词，需搭配名词，符合考研语法规范）

原文：although the the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon,its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals,in their pursuit of economic interests,have disregarded the importance of protecting environment

批改：① 重复冠词 “the the”→“the”（考研基础语法纠错）；④ 语法补充 “protecting environment”→“protecting the environment”（“environment” 前需加定冠词 “the”，考研核心语法点）

原文：healthy growth

批改： 搭配优化 “growth”→“development”（“national development” 为考研环保类作文常用搭配）

原文：it"s

批改：③ 拼写错误 “it"s”→“its”（所有格无需缩写，考研高频易错点）

原文：guilding

批改：③ 拼写错误 “guilding”→“guiding”（考研高频词汇拼写）

原文：education about environment protecting

批改：② 语法修正 “environment protecting”→“environmental protection”（名词短语作介词宾语，考研正确搭配）；③ 介词替换 “about”→“on”（“education on sth” 为考研固定搭配

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

本文展示的2011年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一真题的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。