对于考研英语一而言,2013年大作文常以图画形式呈现。本文精解的这篇图画批改范例,启航教育老师逐句解读图画细节、寓意提炼与评论展开三步走,是考研英语作文话题图画作文的经典教学样本。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates, standing at various of life"s road and facing four different choices, without making a choice. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choosing a suitable path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, choosing a suitable path can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making our life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, blindly following others is like a heavy chain that hinder our progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop patential and fulfill our aspirations.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates, standing at various of life"s road and facing four different choices, without making a choice. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choosing a suitable path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:你准确地描述了漫画的核心场景和人物的状态,并清晰地概括了漫画的深刻寓意。开篇段的任务完成得非常出色。
原文:at hinder our prog
批改:“that hinder our progress” 中,主语 “chain” 是单数,谓语动词应用第三人称单数 “hinders”。
原文:depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future
批改:“depriving them of the ability...” 中的代词 “them” 指代的是 “others”(他人),而前文的主语是 “blindly following others”(这个行为本身)。这里可以稍作调整以保持指代一致,比如改为 “depriving us of the ability...” 或 “depriving individuals of the ability...”。
原文:phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, choosing a suitable path can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making our life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, blindly following others is like a heavy chain that hinder our progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
批改:原因分析段的结构堪称典范!你从“正确选择的益处”和“盲目从众的危害”正反两方面进行论证,对比鲜明,思辨性极强。所使用的比喻和词汇都展现了很高的语言驾驭能力
原文:p patential
批改:“patential” 是 “potential”(潜力)的拼写错误。
原文:rief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop patential and fulfill our aspirations.
批改:结尾段总结精炼,立意高远,并发出了有力的呼吁
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:总分与总评
这篇作文内容切题,结构完整,层次清晰,熟练地使用了丰富的语法结构和高级词汇。存在极少数语言错误,但不影响理解基于当前质量,我给这篇作文打 17分。
总评与修改建议:
你这篇作文给我留下了非常深刻的印象。最突出的优点在于你深刻的辩证思维和语言风格。你不仅能构建严谨的框架,还能运用生动比喻(heavy chain, catalyst)和精准词汇(self-consuming, self-fulfillment)进行富有哲理的论证,这已经达到了十分优秀的水平。
在完成写作后,可以进行一次快速的“细节检查”,重点关注主谓一致和高频词的拼写(如potential)。这能确保你的内容毫无瑕疵。
确保指代的清晰一致:在使用代词(如them, us)时,确认其指代的前文名词是否明确,这将使行文逻辑更加严密。
考研英语作文话题写作提分高效的方式,是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业,真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目,让考研英语写作更有底。
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