考研英语一2011年大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2011年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作锦囊评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are two person sitting on the boat and littering to the river, which made the river full of rubbish. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that not throwing out the garbage ramdomly is an issue that requires our high attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, littering ramdomly can not only erode the respect, but also damage personal image and reputation, leading exclusion and failure in work and social situations. On the other hand, throwing the rubbish to the garbage-can holds exceptional significance for society, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping national morals, further propelling soclal stability and sustainable development.

How can we put an end to the problem of not throwing out the rubbish randomly?It is suggested by many that we need a package of deal,including issuing related laws and enhancing supervision.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to strengthen our self-discipline.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：person

批改：persons

原文：made

批改：注意时态makes

原文：not

批改：not去掉，扔垃圾是一个问题

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are two person sitting on the boat and littering to the river, which made the river full of rubbish. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that not throwing out the garbage ramdomly is an issue that requires our high attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, littering ramdomly can not only erode the respect, but also damage personal image and reputation, leading exclusion and failure in work and social situations. On the other hand, throwing the rubbish to the garbage-can holds exceptional significance for society, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping national morals, further propelling soclal stability and sustainable development.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：not

批改：去掉

原文：of

批改：去掉

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of not throwing out the rubbish randomly?It is suggested by many that we need a package of deal,including issuing related laws and enhancing supervision.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to strengthen our self-discipline.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意名词单复数的正确使用；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意时态选取的正确。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的很认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

本文精解的2011年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作锦囊备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。