考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

想要在2027考研英语写作中拿到高分？研读启航教育整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例就是捷径之一。本文范文紧扣考研英语一写作技巧核心话题，从开头引入到结尾升华都做了精细打磨，是短期内快速提升考研英语写作水平的优质资源。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man watching TV and commanding his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, there is a man studying with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that a good role-model is the brush that paints a bright future， while a bad example is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provking in several ways，but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a good role-model can ignite our creativity, nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment，thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than self-consuming. On the other hand，a bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shiming brightly in future society.

In brief, a good role-model is the catalyst for personal development , from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should let us become a good example; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimenta effects of a bad example to ensure our growth starys on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： left-hand cartoon, there is a man watching TV and commanding his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, there is a man studying with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that a good role-model is the brush

批改：​ 本段清晰地描述了两幅图的对比，并成功提炼出核心寓意

原文： phenomenon is thought-provking in several ways，but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a good role-model can ignite our creativity, nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment，thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than self-consuming. On the other hand，a bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shiming brightly in future society.

批改：本段采用正反对比论证，结构清晰。主要的提升空间在于让论点的阐述与漫画场景结合得更紧密。我们可以将好榜样的益处更直接地关联到“学习”这个核心语境中。

原文：thought-provking in several ways，but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a good role-model can ignite our creativity, nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and s

批改：thought-provking-> thought-provoking(拼写修正) shiming-> shining(拼写修正)

原文：brief, a good role-model is the catalyst for personal development , from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should let us become a good example; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimenta effects of a bad example to ensure our growth starys on course.

批改：结论段再次点题，并给出了积极的建议，从正反两方面总结，结构完整。catalyst（催化剂）这个词用得很高级。

原文：detrimenta effects of a bad

批改：detrimenta-> detrimental(拼写修正) starys-> stays(拼写修正)

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

总评与建议：

同学，你的作文审题准确，结构工整，特别是比喻修辞的运用非常出彩，这为你获取高分奠定了很好的基础！

如果希望在现有的好基础上追求卓越，我们可以聚焦于论证的聚焦度和细节的精确性：

让论证紧扣画面：在阐述好榜样的益处时，可以更紧密地结合漫画中的“学习”场景，说明父亲的学习行为具体如何激励孩子，使论证更具针对性。

仔细检查细节：文中有几处小小的拼写错误。完成写作后，花一分钟快速通读检查，可以轻松避免这些失误，让文章更加完美。

2016年考研英语一大作文是考研英语一写作技巧常考话题的典型代表，研读与模仿高分范文是高效的提分方式。启航教育会持续推出考研英语大作文热点话题预测与范文精解，关注我们即可免费获取预测资料，欢迎在线咨询。