作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2017年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一作文真题常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon , there is a man lying on the sofa and saying"I have numerous books "without readig one book, On the contrary in the right-hand, a boy determine to read 20 books in this year. Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that diligence is the brush that paints a bright future, while laziess is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways .but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand, in the morden society full of changes,chances, and challenges, diligence has become a key factor that distinguish exceptional individuals for ordinary people , and its significane has become increasingly evident.On the other hand, laizness is not only merely a chronic poison that stifles potential but also the Achille"s heel of many youth. It silently erodes opportunities While warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructiveslide.
In brief. diligence is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore. we should actively support and advocate this quality ; additionally,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of laziness to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways .but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand, in the morden society full of changes,chances, and challenges, diligence has become a key factor that distinguish exceptional individuals for ordinary people , and its significane has become increasingly evident.On the other hand, laizness is not only merely a chronic poison that stifles potential but also the Achille"s heel of many youth. It silently erodes opportunities While warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructiveslide
批改:本段的正反论证逻辑清晰,说理透彻。“chronic poison”和“Achille"s heel”的运用非常贴切,显示了你的词汇量和思辨深度。“warping the ladder of ascent”这个表达尤为出彩!
原文:he left-hand cartoon , there is a man lying on the sofa and saying"I have numerous books "without readig one book, On the contrary in the right-hand, a boy determine to read 20 books in this year. Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that diligence is the brush that paints a bright future, while laziess is the shackle that hinders progress.
批改:开篇描述清晰,对比结构使用得当。核心的比喻句写得非常精彩,“brush”和“shackle”的对比令人印象深刻!
原文: a boy determine to r
批改:“a boy determine” 中,谓语动词应用第三人称单数 “determines”。“readig” 是 “reading” 的拼写错误。“laziess” 是 “laziness” 的拼写错误。
原文:s .but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand, in the morden society full of changes,chances, and challenges, diligence has become a key factor that distinguish exceptional individuals for ordinary people , and its significane has become increasingly evident.On the ot
批改:ways .but” 中间的句号造成了句子不完整,应改为逗号 “ways, but”。“morden” 是 “modern” 的拼写错误。“distinguish... for...” 搭配错误,应为 “distinguish... from...”。“significane” 是 “significance” 的拼写错误。“laizness” 是 “laziness” 的拼写错误。“not only merely” 意思重复,保留一个即可。“Achille"s heel” 的规范拼写是 “Achilles" heel”。“While” 不应大写。“self-destructiveslide” 应为 “self-destructive slide”。
原文:f. diligence is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore. we should actively support and advocate this quality ; additionally,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of laziness to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:结尾段总结有力,再次升华主题。“catalyst”(催化剂)和“detrimental effects”(有害影响)这两个高级词汇的使用非常准确,为文章增色不少。分号的使用也显示了良好的语法意识。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
你的作文内容切题,结构严谨,论证充分,并成功使用了高级词汇和复杂句式。主要的提升空间在于拼写的准确性和标点符号的规范使用。
总评与建议:
同学,你这篇作文最突出的优点是严谨的结构和出色的修辞能力。你不仅能精准地描述漫画对比,还能运用“Achilles" heel”这样高级的典故和“warping the ladder of ascent”这样富有想象力的比喻,这非常难得!
当前,我们可以集中精力提升语言的绝对准确性。你的宏观架构和词汇储备都很棒,现在需要让微观的拼写和标点细节与之完美匹配。我的核心建议是:
仔细检查拼写:完成初稿后,请务必留出时间快速检查一遍拼写,重点关注像“laziness”, “modern”, “significance”这类高频词的拼写。这个习惯能帮你发现并改正大部分粗心导致的小失误。
规范标点使用:留意英语写作中逗号、句号后要空一格的规定,以及引号与内容之间空格的使用
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