考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

2016年考研英语一大作文围绕哪一类话题命题？本文精选的范文聚焦考研英语一大作文话题方向，结合启航教育多年考研英语一教学沉淀，从描述图表、解读寓意到发表评论三大角度，完整呈现高分作文的内在结构。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man ,watching TV and smoking ,while saying to his son that you need to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, both the father and son concentrate on study. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive example is the brush that paints a bright future for children, while negative example is the shackle that hinders children’s progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways .But two of them are particularly significant.

On the one hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the spirit of making a positive example is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the children. On the other hand, negative example like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man ,watching TV and smoking ,while saying to his son that you need to study hard.

批改：清晰描述了左边漫画中父亲的行为和言语，用词简单直接

原文：On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, both the father and son concentrate on study.

批改：通过“On the contrary”与上句形成对比，引出右边漫画内容，逻辑清晰，描述简洁。

原文：Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive example is the brush that paints a bright future for children, while negative example is the shackle that hinders children’s progress.

批改：准确指出漫画家意图，运用比喻的修辞手法，将正反榜样分别比作画笔和枷锁，形象生动地表达了观点。

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways

批改：起到承上启下作用，引出下文对现象的具体分析，过渡自然。

原文：.But two of them are particularly significant.

批改：进一步缩小范围，强调接下来要阐述的两个重要方面，逻辑合理。

原文：On the one hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the spirit of making a positive example is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the children.

批改：从中国传统文化角度阐述树立正面榜样的重要性，观点有一定深度，句子结构完整。

原文：On the other hand, negative example like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress

批改：句子成分残缺，缺少谓语动词。建议改为“On the other hand, negative example is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress.”

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14/20

题目要求：对左右两幅漫画中的主要人物行为进行了简单叙述，左边漫画里父亲看电视抽烟并要求儿子学习，右边漫画中父子共同专注学习，能大致了解画面内容。在解读意义上，指出漫画家意在传达正面榜样是给孩子描绘光明未来的画笔，负面榜样是阻碍孩子进步的枷锁，对漫画主旨有一定把握。

语言表达：词汇使用较为普通，缺乏丰富性和多样性。描述漫画时多使用简单的词汇，如“watching TV”“smoking”“concentrate on study”等，没有运用一些更具表现力的词汇来增强文章的感染力。在表达观点时，也未能使用一些高级词汇或短语来提升文章的档次。

修改建议：检查并修正语法错误，确保句子结构完整。简化复杂句子，将长句拆分成短句，使句子结构更清晰，提高文章的流畅性。

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