2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2021年考研英语二大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different physical exercise methods among citizens in a certain city. Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercising with family and group activity are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating symphony of changes, our government have made tremendous efforts to establish more football fields and stadiums, enabling citizens to have ample environment to exercise alone or with friends and family. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people’s attitudes, behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals are choosing exercise alone. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of citizens, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：exercising with family and group activity

批改：并列成分词性不一致，改为 "exercising with family and participating in group activities"

原文：government have made

批改：government 为单数，应为 "has made"

原文：ample environment

批改：搭配不当，改为 "ample facilities" 或 "an adequate environment"

原文：exercise alone or with friends and family

批改：并列逻辑不清，可改为 "to exercise alone, with friends, or with family"

原文：choosing

批改：choosing to

原文： and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：缺少主语。改为“these patterns are likely to remain...”

原文：The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different physical exercise methods among citizens in a certain city. Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercising with family and group activity are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.

批改：准确列出四项锻炼方式及其占比

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating symphony of changes, our government have made tremendous efforts to establish more football fields and stadiums, enabling citizens to have ample environment to exercise alone or with friends and family. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people’s attitudes, behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals are choosing exercise alone. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：用“政府增建场地”与“疫情改变观念”双因解释

原文：What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of citizens, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：简短概括了未来趋势

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9/15

1.题目要求：字数符合题目要求。文章需要分析图表并写出自己的观点，符合题目要求。

2.语言表达：语言表达清晰。但还有些语法错误，考生需要多加注意。

3.内容层面：文章的结构清晰，有明确的开头、中间和结尾，逻辑连贯。

4.修改意见：这篇文章有效地分析了图表信息，并提供了原因和未来趋势的预测。尽管存在一些语法错误，但文章的整体结构和逻辑是清晰的。建议考生多学习语言的表达，并在内容上更加丰富，文章质量会有提升。

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