思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2015年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly depicts depicts the percentage breakdown of different purposes of spending in Spring Festival among citizens in a certain city. The presents of Spring Festival takes the lead at 40%, followed by transportation and meeting both at 20%. Additionally, other factors are also accounted for 20%.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitudes towards consumption have undergone a significant changes. This explains why an increasing number of people choose to buy presents of Spring Festival for family and friends. In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, young people, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to meeting with friends outside during festivals. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about the future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and faithfully reflect the choice of people in the city, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The pie chart clearly depicts depicts the percentage breakdown of different purposes of spending in Spring Festival among citizens in a certain city.
批改:“depicts”重复使用
原文:The presents of Spring Festival takes the lead at 40%, followed by transportation and meeting both at 20%. Additionally, other factors are also accounted for 20%.
批改:“takes”主谓不一致,主语“The presents”是复数,应改为“take”;
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:承上启下的作用,引出下文对现象原因的分析,句子表达简洁明了。
原文:To start with, in the wake of high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitudes towards consumption have undergone a significant changes.
批改:“a significant changes”中“a”与复数“changes”矛盾,“in the wake of”使用较高级,整体句子逻辑较清晰,阐述社会快速发展下人们消费态度的变化。
原文:This explains why an increasing number of people choose to buy presents of Spring Festival for family and friends.
批改:“presents of Spring Festival”表述不准确,可改为“Spring Festival gifts”;句子逻辑连贯,解释了前面提到的消费态度变化导致人们买春节礼物的原因。
原文: In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, young people, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to meeting with friends outside during festivals.
批改:句子整体逻辑合理,阐述了在国家快速发展背景下年轻人节日期间的社交习惯。
原文: Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:句子总结前文原因分析,得出图表现象不足为奇的结论,逻辑连贯。
原文:What about the future trends?
批改:以提问的方式引出对未来趋势的探讨,起到了过渡作用,表达自然。
原文:I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and faithfully reflect the choice of people in the city, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:句子较长但逻辑清晰,表达了对统计数据反映城市居民选择以及未来稳定性的信心
原文:he pie chart clearly depicts depicts the percentage breakdown of different purposes of spending in Spring Festival among citizens in a certain city. The presents of Spring Festival takes the lead at 40%, followed by transportation and meeting both at 20%. Additionally, other factors are also accounted for 20%.
批改:整体介绍了饼状图的内容,就是城市市民春节期间不同消费目的的比例
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitudes towards consumption have undergone a significant changes. This explains why an increasing number of people choose to buy presents of Spring Festival for family and friends. In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, young people, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to meeting with friends outside during festivals. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:分析了市民春节消费比例现象的原因,逻辑较为清晰,从社会发展和年轻人习惯两方面阐述,但存在用词和语法小问题。
原文:What about the future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and faithfully reflect the choice of people in the city, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:提出了对未来趋势的看法,句子逻辑连贯
原文:takes
批改:前面presents是负数,动词不用加s
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:8/15
题目要求:一方面,对饼状图进行了描述,提及了市民在春节期间不同消费目的所占的比例情况;另一方面,给出了评论,分析了出现这种消费比例现象的原因,还对未来趋势做出了预测。
语言表达:存在多处语法错误。大部分表达还可以。
内容层面:逻辑较为清晰,先描述图表内容,接着分析原因,最后预测未来趋势,层次分明。在分析原因时,从社会发展和年轻人习惯两方面进行阐述,有一定的逻辑性。
修改建议:加强对英语语法的学习,尤其是主谓一致、句子结构、词性搭配等基础语法知识。加油!
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2015年考研英语二范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语作文真题范文免费批改名额。
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