2013年考研英语二大作文真题与例文批改

2013年考研英语二大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语二大作文常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts different situations about students" part-time job at a certain universary. In the first year, the percentage of students" part-time job was 67.77%，but by the third year, the rate had gradually risen to 71.93%. In contrast, the proportion of students" part-time job experienced a significant increase of 16.31% from the third year to the last year.

The core reasons for the observed phenonmenon can be summanzed as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to buil a sound part-time job system, enabling universary students to have ample opportunities for part-time job. In addition，as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, preasure is always present." Nowadays, universary students are compelled to confront immense economic pressure, and as a result, having part-time job has emeryed as their significant choice for atilizing leisure time. Considering these factors，the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprsing.

What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of part-time job will steadily increase from the third year to the last year among universary students. In contrast, the proportion of partrtime job from the first year to the third year will likely continue to remain relatively steady.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：universary

批改：拼写错误：“universary”→“university”

原文： students" part-time job

批改：“different situations about students" part-time job” 笼统，建议改为 “the changes in part-time job participation rates among students at a certain university”（明确 “兼职参与率变化”，贴合图表 “比例数据” 核心）

原文：students" part-time job

批改：调整为percentage of students with part-time jobs”“有兼职的学生比例”

原文：the third year to the last year

批改：“last year” 改为 “senior year” 参考：Notably, the proportion of students with part-time jobs saw a significant increase of 16.31% from the junior year to the senior year

原文：In the first year

批改：“first year”“third year” 可明确为 “freshmen”“juniors”，更贴合 “大学生年级” 语境，即 “In the freshman year, the percentage of students with part-time jobs was 67.77%, and by the junior year, this rate had gradually risen to 71.93%.”

批改：能明确 “学生兼职比例随年级变化”的核心趋势，数据引用完整且计算准确，用 “gradually risen”“significant increase” 区分增长幅度，有 “解读图表” 的基础意识。 但是有拼写错误；“学生兼职比例” 表述不够精准，还有就是大一、大二、大三、大四的表述不够准确。在描述大学生年级时，需用 “freshman（大一）、sophomore（大二）、junior（大三）、senior（大四）” 这些标准表达，同时结合图表数据清晰呈现 “随年级递增” 的趋势，避免模糊表述。可参考这样的句式：“The bar chart shows the part-time job participation rates of students at a certain university across four years. Specifically, 67.77% of freshmen take part-time jobs, and the rate rises slightly to 71.13% for sophomores and 71.93% for juniors. Notably, there is a significant jump in the senior year, with the proportion surging to 88.24%—a much larger increase than that of the previous three years.”

原文：phenonmenon

批改：“phenonmenon”→“phenomenon”

原文：summanzed

批改：“summanzed”→“summarized”

原文：buil

批改：“buil”→“build”

原文： universary

批改：“universary”→“university”

原文： part-time job

批改：搭配错误：“for part-time job” 改为 “for part-time jobs”

原文：a sound part-time job system, enabling universary students to have ample opportunities

批改： “政府建设兼职体系” 并非大学生兼职比例增长的核心原因（核心是学生主观需求与企业机会），套用模版的时候建议灵活一点。可以参考：To start with, universities and enterprises have strengthened cooperation, creating more part-time job opportunities that match students" academic schedules, which helps more students take part-time jobs.

原文：preasure

批改：“preasure”→“pressure”

原文：universary

批改：“universary”→“university”

原文：emeryed

批改：“emeryed”→“emerged”

原文：atilizing

批改：“atilizing”→“utilizing”

原文：having part-time job

批改：“having part-time job” 改为 “having part-time jobs”

原文：unsurprsing

批改：“unsurprsing”→“unsurprising”

批改：用 “To start with...In addition” 搭建双维度框架，层次清晰；能从 “外部机会”（政府 / 体系）和 “内部需求”（经济压力）分析，原因方向合理。 但是部分论述太过模版化，偏离实际（政府建设兼职体系非主因）；拼写错误密集，影响语言准确性。建议结合 “年级差异”（如 “大四兼职增长因就业需求”）细化原因

原文：part-time job

批改：“universary”→“university”

原文： partrtime

批改：“partrtime”→“part-time”

原文：universary

批改：“universary”→“university”

原文： first year to the third year

批改：关于大三、大四等的表述不是很精准，可参考：Regarding future trends, I am confident that the existing pattern will continue: the proportion of students with part-time jobs will remain steady from freshman to junior year and rise significantly in the senior year.

批改：明确回应 “未来趋势”，观点清晰，符合题干要求；拼写、搭配等错误仍然存在。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/15

本文框架完整，能覆盖 “解读图表、分析原因、给出评论” 三大任务，图表数据引用准确，原因分析方向符合逻辑，有完成任务的基础思路。但核心问题突出：一是基础错误严重，拼写、搭配、语法错误密集，影响语言准确性与可读性；二是部分论述逻辑薄弱，模版套用的例子使用不太适配。整体需优先修正基础错误，优化 “学生兼职比例” 的准确表达，掌握大一到大四的正确表述，调整原因论述方向，补充评论深度，从而提升作文质量，加油。

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