想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数?研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2013年考研英语二批改范例,从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论,每一段都渗透着考研英语写作锦囊热点话题的得分要点。
一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the percentage of part - time jobs among students at a certain university. In freshman year, the percentage of part - time jobs among students was 67.7%, but by senior year, this rate had substantially risen to 88.24%. In contrast, the proportion of part - time jobs among students experienced a slow increase of 0.8% from sophomore year to junior year.
The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, work experience is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by globalization in responding to these changes. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of part - time jobs among students will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:e bar chart clearly depicts the percentage of part - time jobs among students at a certain university. In freshman year, the percentage of part - time jobs among students was 67.7%, but by senior year, this rate had substantially risen to 88.24%. In contrast, the proportion of part - time jobs among students experienced a slow increase of 0.8% from sophomore year to junior year.
批改:本段基本完成了数据描述的任务,指出了大一到大四的总体上升趋势,并提及了大二到大三的微小增长。
原文: part - time
批改:part - time 的写法不规范,连字符前后不应有空格,正确形式为 part-time
原文:In freshman year
批改:In freshman year 前面应加定冠词 the,即 In the freshman year
原文: by senior year
批改:by the senior year
原文: from sophomore year to junior year.
批改:from sophomore year to junior year 应为 from the sophomore year to the junior year。在特指大学的具体年级时,通常需要加定冠词。
原文:The core reason
批改:段首说 The core reason... (单数),但下文列出了多个原因。
原文:part - time
批改: part - time 同样应改为 part-time
原文:he core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, work experience is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by globalization in responding to these changes. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:这一段逻辑混乱: 段首说“核心原因如下”,但段落中又出现 “In my view, the fundamental reason...”,前后立场不一致
原文:at about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of part - time jobs among students will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:本段提出预测
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9分
总评:
这篇作文基本完成了试题规定的任务。文章结构完整,遵循了“描述图表-分析原因-预测趋势”的框架。第一段的图表描述基本准确,但存在逻辑衔接问题。
主要失分点:
论证逻辑薄弱: 第二段的原因分析是最大短板。除第一个论点外,其余论点与主题的关联性弱,缺乏具体、有说服力的解释。
语言表达不精准: 存在用词重复、搭配不当
虽漏掉一些内容(如深入的原因分析),但包含多数内容要点。应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的需求。有一些语法及词汇错误,但不影响理解。采用了简单的衔接手法,内容较连贯,层次较清晰。
备考建议:
在分析原因时,确保每个论点都具体、直接地与图表现象相关。避免使用空泛的大概念,多从学生的实际需求(就业、经济、能力提升)和客观条件(课程安排、社会环境)等角度进行具体阐述。 确保每个段落,尤其是评论段,有足够的展开和论述,避免一句话段落。
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