2013年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2013年考研英语二大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文万能句型写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in part-time jobs situation among college students in a certain university. In the freshman year, the percentage of students doing part-time jobs was approximately 67.77%,but by the junior year, this rate had gradually risen to 71.93%. In contrast, the proportion of students did: of students doing part-time jobs experienced a significant increase from the senior year to the junior senior year.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense economic pressure and as a result, doing part-time jobs have become their significant choices for utilizing his leisure time. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges and chances, having more work experiences is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about the future trends? I am confident that the proportion of students doing part-time will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： the proportion of students did:

批改：这里用法有问题，直接写为一个完整的句子，不用冒号断句

原文： the proportion of students did: of students doing part-time jobs experienced a significant increase from the senior year to the junior senior year.

批改：另外，趋势应为 “从大三到大四显著上升”，需修正为 “the proportion saw a significant increase from the junior year to the senior year”

原文：The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in part-time jobs situation among college students in a certain university. In the freshman year, the percentage of students doing part-time jobs was approximately 67.77%,but by the junior year, this rate had gradually risen to 71.93%. In contrast, the proportion of students did: of students doing part-time jobs experienced a significant increase from the senior year to the junior senior year.

批改：描写了图表内容，符合题目要求

原文：doing part-time jobs have become

批改：语 “doing part-time jobs” 为单数，需改为 “has become”

原文：his

批改：“his” 指代 “students”（复数），应改为 “their”

原文：experiences

批改：“experience” 表 “经验” 时为不可数名词，需改为 “having more work experience”

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense economic pressure and as a result, doing part-time jobs have become their significant choices for utilizing his leisure time. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges and chances, having more work experiences is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：说明理由，逻辑较为清晰

原文：What about the future trends? I am confident that the proportion of students doing part-time will steadily increase in the following decades.

批改：对未来结果表示推测，内容完整

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11

这篇图表分析文围绕 “某大学学生兼职情况变化” 展开，具备完整论述框架，体现了基本的议论文写作思路。但在图表描述准确性、语法规范性、及表达流畅度上存在明显问题，需重点优化，尤其是单复数的问题。希望继续努力，加油！

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