思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2024年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon,there are some people,running in the city park and there has a boy said that the new built park is very excellent.Meanwhile,the right-hand bar chart clearly depicts the number of city park from 2020 to 2022 for certain city. In 2020, the humber of city park was 406,but by 2022,this figure had substontially risen to 670.
The core reason for the abserved phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes,our government has made great effort to build many city parks,enabling people to have ample apportunities to exercise. In addition,As we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives,significantly altering people"s behanoys and choices. Consequently,an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health .Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpnsing.
What ahout future trends? I am confident that the number of city park is a clear sign for social improvement and will steadily incease in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:re are some people,running in the city park and there has a boy said that the new built park is very exce
批改:there has a boy said:这是一个常见的句型错误。正确的表达是 there is a boy who says...或更简单地 a boy says...。 the new built park:形容词形式错误。built是动词build的过去分词,这里应该用形容词 newly-built或 new。 very excellent:excellent本身是一个含义很强的词,通常不再用 very修饰。可以换成 really excellent, truly excellent或直接使用 excellent。 the number of city park:park应该用复数 parks,因为数量不止一个。 for certain city:介词使用不当,应为 in a certain city。 humber, substontially:拼写错误,正确拼写是 number, substantially。
原文:and cartoon,there are some people,running in the city park and there has a boy said that the new built park is very excellent.Meanwhile,the right-hand bar chart clearly depicts the number of city park from 2020 to 2022 for certain city. In 2020, the humber of city park was 406,but by 2022,this figure had substontially risen to 6
批改:你准确地描述了图片和图表的核心信息,并引用了数据,这个思路是正确的。但这一段在语法、用词和拼写上的错误比较集中,影响了理解的流畅度。打好句子基础是关键。
原文:abserved phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, As the conductor orchestrating the symphony
批改:absurved:拼写错误,应为 observed。 To start with, As the conductor...:As不需要大写。 great effort:effort在这里作为“努力的工作”讲时,通常是不可数名词,应为 great efforts或 a great effort。 apportunities, behanoys, unsurpnsing:拼写错误,正确拼写是 opportunities, behaviors, unsurprising。
原文:ductor orchestrating the symphony of changes,our government has made great effort to build many city parks,enabling people to have ample apportunities to exercise. In addition,As we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives,significantly altering people"s behanoys and choices. Consequently,an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health .Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpnsing
批改: 你从“政府作为”和“疫情影响”两个角度分析原因,这个论证结构很好,逻辑是清晰的。特别是第一个原因的开头,想法很有创意。但遗憾的是,一些基础性的拼写和名词单复数错误拉低了整体的表现。
原文:uture trends? I am confident that the number of city park is a clear sign for social improvement and will steadily in
批改:ahout, incease:拼写错误,正确拼写是 about, increase。 the number of city park:同样,park应用复数 parks。 a clear sign for social improvement:介词使用稍欠地道,a sign of social improvement更常见。
原文: trends? I am confident that the number of city park is a clear sign for social improvement and will steadily incease in the following dec
批改:: 结尾段简洁地预测了未来趋势
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14
你的作文结构完整,包含了描述、分析和展望,论证思路也清晰。但是,文章中出现了大量影响理解的语法错误、拼写错误和用词不当的问题,这严重阻碍了信息的有效传递。
攻克拼写:文中的 number, about, increase等都是高频核心词汇,必须百分百掌握拼写。建议专门准备一个错词本,反复记忆。
巩固简单句:请务必确保能写出语法正确的简单句。比如,时刻检查“There be”句型、主谓一致(如 the number of parks is...)、可数名词复数等最基础的规则。在简单句正确的基础上,再考虑写长句。
养成检查习惯:下次写完作文后,强迫自己慢下来,通读一遍,只做一件事——像侦探一样找出拼写和“小语法点”(如单复数、冠词)的错误。这个习惯能帮你立刻挽回很多分数。
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2024年考研英语一范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。
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