进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作技巧写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2011年考研英语二批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语二一还是考研英语二二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the marked propotion of some brands of domestic antomobiles in 2008 and 2009. In 2008, the percentage of Chinese brand was approximately 25%,but by 2009, this rate had gradually risen to around 33%.In contrast, the propotion of Japanese brand experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. simultaneously, the percentage of American brand remain stable and steady.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development , the younger generation, particularty those born in the 1990s nd 2000s,are accustomed to buying domestic automobiles and have become the primary consumer group. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an ertensive and profound transtormation.In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in respond to these changes so that an increasing number of people choose in China choose to buy antomobiles of domestic brands. Considlering these factors ,the depicted
phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends?I am confident that the proption of Chinese brand will steadily increase in the following decades.In contrast, the propotion of Japanese brand will continue to decrease and the propotion of American brand will remain relatively stable.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:marked propotion
批改:market proportion
原文:some brands of domestic antomobiles
批改:这里不仅仅指国内汽车品牌,可改为some car/ automobile brands in domestic market
原文:brand
批改:复数brands,国产汽车不止一个品牌
原文:brand
批改:brands
原文: simultaneously
批改:首字母大写
原文: brand remain
批改:brands, remained用一般过去时
原文:The bar chart clearly depicts the marked propotion of some brands of domestic antomobiles in 2008 and 2009. In 2008, the percentage of Chinese brand was approximately 25%,but by 2009, this rate had gradually risen to around 33%.In contrast, the propotion of Japanese brand experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. simultaneously, the percentage of American brand remain stable and steady
批改:意思清晰,注意减少失误
原文:particularty
批改:particularly
原文: ertensive
批改: extensive
原文:transtormation
批改:transformation
原文:respond
批改:respond是动词,范文中给的responding
原文:so that
批改:so that逻辑不自然,可改为非限定性定语从句,which has led an increasing number of people in China ...
原文:choose
批改:删除
原文:Considlering
批改:Considering
原文: core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development , the younger generation, particularty those born in the 1990s nd 2000s,are accustomed to buying domestic automobiles and have become the primary consumer group. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an ertensive and profound transtormation.In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in respond to these changes so that an increasing number of people choose in China choose to buy antomobiles of domestic brands. Considlering these factors ,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:词汇句型丰富,主要减少拼写错误
原文:proption of Chinese brand
批改:proportion of Chinese brands
原文:propotion of Japanese brand
批改:proportion of Japanese brands
原文: propotion of American brand
批改: proportion of American brands
原文:What about future trends?I am confident that the proption of Chinese brand will steadily increase in the following decades.In contrast, the propotion of Japanese brand will continue to decrease and the propotion of American brand will remain relatively stable.
批改:good
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9/15
1.作文内容包含全面,主题明确,层次分明,扣分主要是拼写和单复数;
2.运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇,定语从句,非谓语动词和插入语很棒;
3.采用恰当的衔接手法,内容较为连贯;
4.要多内化老师讲的高分词汇和模板句型,形成自己的语料库和写作思路,加油!
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语二大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作技巧高分批改。
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