作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2017年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一大作文常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a young man lying in a chair and say, "I have a lot of books!". But in the right-hand cartoon, another man is determined to read 20 books this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is practical action that plays an important role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, we need to be practical in order to promote personal development, make life meaningful and enrich our lives. Without parctical action, we are easy to waste precious time and make no actual progress. On the other hand, social development requires concrete actions, while daydreaming is just like a heavy chain that hinders the whole
nation"s progress.
In brief, practical action is the catalyst for both society and individuals, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the harmful effects of daydreaming to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:say
批改:saying
原文:In the left-hand cartoon, there is a young man lying in a chair and say, "I have a lot of books!". But in the right-hand cartoon, another man is determined to read 20 books this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is practical action that plays an important role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:描述漫画内容,揭示漫画背后所反映的社会现象和深刻哲理,清晰直观。
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, we need to be practical in order to promote personal development, make life meaningful and enrich our lives. Without parctical action, we are easy to waste precious time and make no actual progress. On the other hand, social development requires concrete actions, while daydreaming is just like a heavy chain that hinders the whole nation"s progress.
批改:以分论点的形式论述行动的重要性,逻辑严谨,层次分明。
原文:In brief, practical action is the catalyst for both society and individuals, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the harmful effects of daydreaming to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:联系自身,总结全文,升华主题
原文:stays
批改:stay
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:17/20
作文对漫画的理解到位,写作思路紧扣主题,有些短语句式的表达也不错,基本能够传达清楚作者的写作意图,但在以下几方面还需注意:
1.语法:个别句子从汉语角度看意思通顺,仔细分析其实句子成分不完整,不符合英语表达方式。
2.内容:对于两幅图的写作,除了一般意义上的描述外,还要有两幅图画之间的对比,这也是文章的“切入点”。
整体来看,作文理解了漫画内涵,段落框架明确,大体上与题目要求保持一致,但是在表达上还存在一定问题,后续继续注重练习,加油!
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