考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2016年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

62. As shown in the pictures, in the first one, a father tells his children to study hard, while himself is watching TV. In contrast, in the second one, both the father and the children are working hard. Evidently, the set of pictures intends to convey to readers that setting a good example is the brush that paints a bright future, while negative guidance is the shackle that hinders progress.

The phenomenon is quite thought-provoking in several facets, but two of them are especially noteworthy to discuss. One the one hand, while certain Chinese tradition is obsolete, as parents setting a good example for kids is the practice that should never lose its luster, as it plays a crucial part in shaping the admirable character of Chinese people. On the other hand, negative quidance brought by parents not only prevents children from achieving success, but also serves as an Achilles" heel that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stone towaris hell.

Considering the analysis above, we can conclude that setting a good example is the catalust for both children"s growth and social development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Additionally, we should always bear in mind about the detrimental effects brought by negative guidance to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：children

批改：只有一个孩子，child

原文：himself

批改：he

原文：One

批改：On

原文： tradition

批改：traditions

原文：quidance

批改：guidance

原文：towaris

批改：towards

原文：atalust

批改：catalyst

原文：about

批改：去掉

原文：as

批改：去掉

原文：shaping the admirable character of Chinese people

批改：改为shaping children’s positive habits and values会好些

原文：As shown in the pictures, in the first one, a father tells his children to study hard, while himself is watching TV. In contrast, in the second one, both the father and the children are working hard. Evidently, the set of pictures intends to convey to readers that setting a good example is the brush that paints a bright future, while negative guidance is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：对比了两幅漫画的行为差异，提炼出 “树立榜样” 的核心寓意

原文：The phenomenon is quite thought-provoking in several facets, but two of them are especially noteworthy to discuss. One the one hand, while certain Chinese tradition is obsolete, as parents setting a good example for kids is the practice that should never lose its luster, as it plays a crucial part in shaping the admirable character of Chinese people. On the other hand, negative quidance brought by parents not only prevents children from achieving success, but also serves as an Achilles" heel that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stone towaris hell.

批改：从两个方面切入分析

原文：onsidering the analysis above, we can conclude that setting a good example is the catalust for both children"s growth and social development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Additionally, we should always bear in mind about the detrimental effects brought by negative guidance to ensure children"s growth stays on course

批改：总结观点，并呼吁支持

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/20

1.题目要求：字数符合题目要求。文章需要分析图画并表明观点，符合题目要求。

2.语言表达：语言表达清晰，但存在一些语法错误和拼写错误，考生需注意。

3.内容层面：基本包含题目要求的内容。

4.修改意见：文章整体较完整，结构较为清晰，按照描述漫画、阐述哲理和提出呼吁的顺序进行写作。然而存在一些语法错误和拼写错误，考生需多加注意。建议考生在写作时认真检查，注意语法和单词的准确性。

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