考研英语一2017年大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2017年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一大作文高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目

考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture, there is a people sitt on th chair comfortablely, facing with bookshelf and saying "I have so many books." On the contrary, in the right-hand picture, a boy sitting on the study chair, his desk only have a few books, and saying "I try myself to read twenty books in this years." We can see that he is a chase reality people. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to reads that action is the brush that paints a bright future, while fantasy is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in many ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, we should take action to fulfill our plan and finish our dream. What"s more, we should cultivate a great habbit of make rational plan and insist to enforce it.

In brief, take action immediately is the catalyst for individual development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advcate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of vacant fantasy to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： the left-hand picture, there is a people sitt on th chair comfortablely, facing with bookshelf and saying "I have so many books." On the contrary, in the right-hand picture, a boy sitting on the study chair, his desk only have a few books, and saying "I try myself to read twenty books in this years." We can see that he is a chase reality people. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to reads that action is the brush that paints a bright future, while fantasy is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改： 你成功描述了两幅图的对比，并且结尾的总结句“action is the brush...”写得非常精彩，是这个段落的亮点。

原文：e is a people sitt on th chair comfortablely, facing with bookshelf and saying "I have so many books." On the contrary, in the right-hand picture, a boy sitting on the study chair, his desk only have a few books, and saying "I try myself to read twenty books in this years." We can see that he is a chase reality people. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to reads that

批改：词汇与拼写：“a people” 是不正确的， “people”是集体名词，指一个人应用 “a person” 或 “a man”。“sitt” 应为 “sitting”。“th” 应为 “the”。“comfortablely” 拼写错误，应为 “comfortably”。“reads” 作为名词指“读者”，这里应为 “readers”。“chase reality people” 表意不清，想表达“追求实际的人”可以说 “a practical person” 或 “a person of action”。

原文：facing with book

批改：“facing with bookshelf” 应改为 “facing a bookshelf” 或 “in front of a bookshelf”。“a boy sitting on...” 和 “his desk only have...” 是两个独立的句子，不能用逗号连接，这是典型的“逗号粘连”错误。可以改为 “...a boy is sitting on the study chair. His desk has only a few books...”。“in this years” 应改为 “this year”。

原文：his phenomenon is thought-provoking in many ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, we should take action to fulfill our plan and finish our dream. What"s more, we should cultivate a great habbit of make rational plan and insist to enforce it.

批改：本段从两个方面提出建议，思路是正确的。开头的主题句也写得很好

原文： habbit of m

批改：“habbit” 拼写错误，应为 “habit”。“finish our dream” 搭配不够地道，通常说 “achieve our dreams” 或 “make our dreams come true”。

原文：a great habbit of make ration

批改：“a great habit of make rational plan” 中，介词 “of” 后面应接动名词，改为 “making rational plans”。“insist to enforce it” 搭配不当，“insist” 后面常接 “on doing” 或从句，可以改为 “and insist on following through with them”。

原文：brief, take action immediately is the catalyst for individual development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advcate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of vacant fantasy to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改： 结尾段再次点题，并使用“catalyst”“detrimental”等高级词汇，值得肯定。结论清晰有力。

原文： advcate th

批改：“advcate” 拼写错误，应为 “advocate”

原文：take action immediatel

批改：“Take action immediately is the catalyst...” 中，动词短语不能直接作主语，应改为动名词形式 “Taking action immediately is the catalyst...”。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15分

总体评分与建议

你的文章结构完整，立意准确，并且能使用一些精彩的亮点句。当前的主要提升空间在于语言表达的准确性

修改建议

打好语法和拼写的基础：当前影响理解的主要是一些基础错误。建议把作文中订正过的拼写和语法点（如people/person, of + doing等）整理下来，考前重点复习。

追求更地道的搭配：在记单词时，多留意它的常用搭配。比如“实现梦想”是“achieve a dream”，“养成习惯”是“cultivate a habit of doing”。

本文展示的2017年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一大作文的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。