思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2013年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
2013大作文
As shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates sitting in the life road and attempting to select one road as there next stage,these roads include entering the forcework ,starting new company ,pursuing education and so on. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is selecting a suitable and correct road that can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, embarking on a new phase of their life brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers. Its core driving force stems from teenagers’ desire to step out of their comfort zones, embrace a broader future, and gain recognition from others. What"s more, the suitable road can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.
In brief, the development of graduates is the catalyst for society and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of selecting unsuitable rode to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:sitting in the life
批改:“sitting in the life road” 这个表达中,介词 “in” 的使用可以更贴切一些。我们通常说 “sitting at a crossroads” (处于十字路口) 或 “standing on the road of life”,这样更能体现面临选择的意象。
原文:there next
批改:“there next stage” 应为 “their next stage”。
原文:entering the force
批改:“entering the forcework” 是 “entering the workforce” (进入职场) 的拼写错误。
原文: shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates sitting in the life road and attempting to select one road as there next stage,these roads include entering the forcework ,starting new company ,pursuing education and so on. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is selecting a suitable and correct road that can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:你准确地描述了漫画的核心场景——毕业生面临多种人生选择,并清晰地概括了漫画的寓意。开篇段的任务完成得很好
原文:s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, embarking on a new phase of their life brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers. Its core driving force stems from teenagers’ desire to step out of their comfort zones, embrace a broader future, and gain recognition from others. What"s more, the suitable road can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming
批改:你从“内在驱动力”和“个人成长”两个层面来论证选择的重要性,这个分析角度非常深刻,体现了你很强的思辨能力。特别是第二个论点,逻辑清晰,论述有力。
原文: rode to e
批改:“rode” 是 “road” 的拼写错误。
原文: brief, the development of graduates is the catalyst for society and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of selecting unsuitable rode to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:结尾段的首句总结非常有力。结尾句的思路是辩证的
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16分
总分与总评
根据考研英语一大作文评分标准,这篇作文内容切题,结构完整,层次清晰,并使用了较丰富的语法结构和词汇。但在语法、词汇和衔接手法上存在一些错误。
总评与修改建议:
你这篇作文最让我欣赏的地方是你的思辨深度和用词潜力。你不仅能构建清晰的论证结构,还能运用“catalyst”、“self-consuming”这样精准的高级词汇,并且从个人驱动和价值实现的角度进行分析,这都展现了你的优秀潜力。
在写作时,请确保从描述到分析,核心关键词(如graduates)保持一致,这能让你的文章始终紧扣主题,逻辑更严密。
在写下一个句子时,有意识地思考它和前一句的逻辑关系,并选择正确的标点或连接词。写完一个段落后,可以再读一遍,检查句与句之间是否流畅。
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2013年考研英语一范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语作文真题范文免费批改名额。
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