考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2017年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一大作文话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon there is a young man, lying in a sofa and says that he has so many book. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another young man says to himself,” I will finish 20 books in this year.” With only a few books on his desk. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to reader that being practical is the brush that pains a bright future, while daydreaming is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, being practical can ignite our creativity, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, daydreaming can erode trust and respect, and cause the loss of opportunities and resources. It can also damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations.
In brief, being practical is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; on the other hand, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of daydreaming to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:cartoon
批改:加逗号
原文: in
批改:改为 on 更合适
原文:book
批改:many 后面加名词复数,改为 books
原文:says
批改:改为 saying, 与 lying 并列
原文:in
批改:删去,当使用 this, that, next, last, every 等词与时间单位(如 time, week, year, Monday)连用时,前面不需要任何介词。
原文:.” With
批改:此处不能单独成句,要和前面合为一句,改为 ," with
原文:reader
批改:可数名词单数形式不能单独存在,改为 readers
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的
原文:finish
批改:改为 finish reading 更精确
批改:语法正确
批改:语法正确,表达也很好
批改:语法正确
批改:内容表达很好,也很具体
批改:语法正确
原文:on the other hand
批改:改为 additionally, on the other hand 要和 on the one hand 一起出现使用
批改:结尾段内容表达很好
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16分/20分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明了个人观点,和图画的内容很贴合
语言表达:存在几处语法问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体
修改建议:语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改,要细心。之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的语言表达,总的来说写的不错,加油!
如果你也想让自己的考研英语一作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语一大作文高分资料礼包。
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