距离2027考研英语初试已不足一年,写作冲刺阶段高效的复习方式就是精研历年真题高分范文。本文精解的2016年考研英语一批改范例,紧扣考研英语一大作文写作锦囊要点,全文结构严谨、表达地道,适合所有2027考生。
一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目
考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文
第三部分:写作A节
51. In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, sitting in a sota, watching TV, smoking a cigarette, and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man is studying hard with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to us that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future of children, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders their progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples set by parents can ignite children"s creativity, promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful. On the contrary, negative examples set by parents are like a heavy chain that hinders children, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In breif, positive examples are the catalyse for children"s development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; on the other hand, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children"s growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, sitting in a sota, watching TV, smoking a cigarette, and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man is studying hard with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to us that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future of children, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders their progress.
批改:通过对比两幅漫画的父亲的不同行为,提炼出 “正面榜样助力孩子未来,负面榜样阻碍其进步” 的核心寓意,结构清晰,逻辑起点明确。 但是最好在开头简单介绍一下这个图画,再分别介绍,不然有些唐突。
原文: sota
批改:sofa
原文: breif
批改:brief
原文:catalys
批改:catalyst
原文: shackle
批改:与复数 “negative examples” 保持一致:shackles
原文:hinders
批改:hinder
原文: On the contrary
批改:与前文保持一致的话,可以写成:on the other hand
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples set by parents can ignite children"s creativity, promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful. On the contrary, negative examples set by parents are like a heavy chain that hinders children, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
批改:从正反 两个维度分析现象
原文:In breif, positive examples are the catalyse for children"s development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; on the other hand, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children"s growth stays on course.
批改:总结观点,并呼吁支持
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13/20
1.题目要求:字数符合题目要求。文章需要分析图画并表明观点,符合题目要求。
2.语言表达:语言表达清晰,但存在一些语法错误和拼写错误,考生需注意。
3.内容层面:基本包含题目要求的内容。
4.修改意见:文章整体较完整,结构较为清晰,按照描述漫画、阐述哲理和提出呼吁的顺序进行写作。然而存在一些语法错误和拼写错误,考生需多加注意。建议考生在写作时认真检查,注意语法和单词的准确性。
透过这篇2016年考研英语一批改范文,相信你对考研英语一大作文的写作框架有了更深入的认识。启航教育长期为考研英语考生提供一对一专业作文批改,从词汇、语法到结构系统诊断失分点,欢迎在线咨询预约免费批改名额。
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