考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

2016年考研英语一大作文的评分标准严格，对图表描述、主题提炼与观点阐述三大能力均有考查。本文精选的这篇高分批改范例，全程贯彻考研英语一作文范文写作锦囊的核心要点，可作为考研英语写作的标杆范文。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

必须使用黑色字迹书写:在答题卡区域内作答,超出黑色矩形边框限定区域的答案无效。

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, lying on the sofa, smoking and watching TV, saying, son, you give me hard study, On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, both the father and son, together studies, Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is role model that can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.

First the foremost, Neglecting role model is like a chain that hinder heave chain that children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society, in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, role model strong has become a key quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, role model holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall national strength, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

In brief, role model is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit.

必须使用黑色字迹书写:在答题卡区域内作答,超出黑色矩形边框限定区域的答案无效,

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：both the father a

批改： “both the father and son, together studies” 存在主谓不一致问题，主语是复数，谓语动词应用原形 “study” 或现在进行时 “are studying together”。

原文：he left-hand cartoon, there is a father, lying on the sofa, smoking and watching TV, saying, son, you give me hard study, On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, both the father and son, together studies, Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is role model that can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：你成功地描述了两幅图的对比场景，并清晰地提炼出了核心寓意。主要的提升点在于确保直接引语的地道性和主谓一致等语法细节。

原文：First the foremos

批改：“First the foremost” 是 “First and foremost” 的笔误。

原文： like a chain that hind

批改：“like a chain that hinder heave chain that children"s progress” 这部分表述重复且混乱，推测你想表达的是“像一条沉重的枷锁”，可以简化为 “like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress”。

原文：ole model strong h

批改：“role model strong” 词性错误，应改为 “a strong role model” 或 “the power of a role model”。

原文：st the foremost, Neglecting role model is like a chain that hinder heave chain that children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society, in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, role model strong has become a key quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, role model holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall national strength, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

批改：本段包含了两个非常有价值的论点，特别是第二个，展现了你的思维深度

原文：rief, role model is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit.

批改：总结句本身非常出色，精准地总结了全文

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16分

这篇作文内容切题，结构完整，并展现了优秀的思辨深度和语言潜力。但在内容连贯性与语法准确性上存在一些失误。

总评与修改建议：

你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的地方在于你深刻的立意和高阶的语言表达能力。你不仅能精准地解读漫画，提炼出“榜样”这一核心，还能运用“catalyst”、“crucial cornerstone”等精妙的词汇进行富有哲理的论证，这已经达到了相当优秀的水平。

在写主体段时，可以先用 “On the one hand” 和 “On the other hand” 将两个分论点明确分开。这样，你深刻的见解就能以最清晰、最有条理的方式呈现出来。

在完成写作后，可以快速检查一下标点符号和固定搭配（如First and foremost）的准确性。

启航教育坚持『专业·敬业·服务好』的理念，深耕考研英语教研多年。本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文仅是冰山一角，更多考研英语一作文范文高分资料与免费批改服务，期待与每一位2027考研人在在线咨询中相遇。