考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2016年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文万能句型写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, sitting in a sofa, watching TV, and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man is studying hard with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future of children, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders their progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, Positive examples set by parents can ignite children’s creativity, promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative examples set by parents are like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for children’s development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; on the other hand ,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children’s growth stay on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： in

批改：改为 on

批改：语法正确

原文：of

批改：改为 for 更合适

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

批改：语法正确

原文： Positive

批改：此处首字母不大写

批改：语法正确

批改：内容表达很好，也很具体

原文：they

批改：改为 we 更合适

原文：on the other hand

批改：改为 in addition, on the other hand 必须与 on the one hand 搭配使用

原文：stay

批改：此处为从句的谓语，主语是 growth, 谓语动词要用三单形式，改为 stays

批改：结尾段内容表达很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心 2. 首字母大小写要规范。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，总的来说写的不错，加油！

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